Shaadi No. 5

I'm continuing my wedding tour of north India. This weekend Emily and I went to our friend Pooja's wedding. Since this is my fifth wedding I've learned a thing or two. The first thing is that you can, in fact, say no to certain things. Indians are quite welcoming and affirming people. 'Julie come meet my cousin.' 'Julie take a snap with me.' Julie you are looking so beautiful in Indian dress.' These are all good things. However, being the center of attention has its downside. No, I don't want to eat five meals or drink eight cups of chai. No, I don't want to dance in the middle of Indian men. No, I'm not bored...I just don't want to talk without ceasing. Once I learned that the Indian-foreigner relationship is not a master-slave relationship weddings became much more enjoyable.

I also have three key groups I look for to socialize with at weddings. Kids, old people, and servants. Everyone else is too busy running all over the place so these groups are the most available. Kids are great. They're usually bored at weddings so you can talk to them about school and pop music. They always have lots of questions about American too. Old people in India are the cutest people on earth! Sometimes they wear thick black glasses and that makes them even cuter. You can just sit with them and they smile and tell you how beautiful you are. They don't care if you talk or not and they always want to take a picture with you. Finally, servants are fun because they don't expect you to talk to them. They're a little shy but always so excited when you ask their names or anything else about them. Most of the servants are ignored or bossed around and no one ever says thank you so it's a great joy to be the one person who talks to them in a respectful and personal way.

Overall, I'm always a little drained after weddings. My feet hurt from standing in heels, my stomach hurts from having to eat too much, and usually my back hurts because I've slept in a bed with ten other people. I'm tired from walking around and constantly repeating the phrase 'you look SO beautiful' (sometimes more than once to the same person since the women change at least five times throughout the day), and at some point I always get pinned against a wall in a crowded room and can't breathe. BUT, how can I complain? Indians are great. All you do is show up and apprectiate their culture and they love you and think of you as family. While I'm thankful American weddings last a mere hour, it's pretty special when you enter a home full of people you don't know and when it's all over you've touched most of them in some way (whether they sat on you or hugged you). It's a beautiful thing.