Fearless

We're in the midst of the white invasion. More details later, but for now I'll tell you there are a LOT of white people here. And it's fun. Really really fun.

Darr is the Hindi word for fear, and it's threaded throughout the culture here. Animism itself is the belief that things have spirits and some of these spirits are good and others are bad. Life for many revolves around appeasement. Living here has made me evaluate the affect fear has on my own psyche. I don't live with the worry of a curse or a plague--or at least with the worry that it will destroy me. But to call myself fearless? No, I don't have enough faith for that. At least not yet.

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." FDR's 1st inaugural address to a depressed nation is pretty sweet. Fear can cause paralysis. It can make us apathetic. It can make it look like the best thing to do is nothing. Apathy and denial might be less painful than fear, but it's no victory when you lose the ability to feel. On my nobler days I'd rather look that obstacle right in the face and choose to advance--believing that the truth will deliver. Too bad I'm not noble everyday.

For me fear is packaged a little differently than an animistic person. I don't believe that a ritual will save me, but I guess I don't believe in the enlightened uber-man's ability to conquer either. For me it's about a command of my faith. God commands His people not to fear over and over again, and when God speaks I want to listen. It's pretty simple actually. God is consistent, and I need this because I'm completely unable to wake up and shout carpe diem every morning.

So, yeah, the climate of fear in this place has taught me an invaluable amount about human weakness. I choose divine liberation.

picture interlude




I met a guy the other day who said the world is better than it's ever been. It's incrementally getting better as time goes on. He's right, but most people don't realize this since all see on TV and newspapers are things being blown into oblivion. Even so, I don't find the world's snail-like improvement very comforting. For example, in 1977, 41,000 people died each day of hunger worldwide. Ten years later that number declined to 35,000. Today it's down to 24,000 each day, three fourths being children under five. At least it's progress right? The problem is what do you tell people who are starving right now? Well, not quite as many people used to die of hunger. What about the people ten years ago? I'm sorry--you were just born at a crappy time.

I guess the question remains. How do I get my excess food to Africa?