This summer I made our wonderful volunteer team from Mississippi watch some episodes of The Office. A Benihana Christmas was a group favorite, especially the part where Michael plays the itunes preview for 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt over and over again instead of buying the whole song. The guys asked me if I'd ever heard the entire song, which of course was no because it will take at least ten years for James Blunt to make it to India. Anyway, they played the song for me and it was horrifically tragic--so much that tears started rolling down my face. For some reason no one else seemed as emotionally affected and chose to make fun of me because I actually have feelings. It became the joke of the summer and our group song, which is pretty weird if you don't know the story behind it (hence why I just shared it with you). The guys made this video in honor of me.
The most heartbreaking part is when he sings 'I'm so hollow' (played brilliantly by Wade) over and over again. Cody's Cardinal's t-shirt was also a nice touch. If you have some time today have a moment of silence for James Blunt. Someone messed that dude up bad.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Reflections and Reunions
I've put off blogging for awhile now, mostly because I'm so far behind and partly because it's lost some of its appeal now that I'm no longer in India. The thought of trying to recap my final days in South Asia and all my travels since is a little daunting because it's such a large task. I hope you'll forgive me for the summaries!
Goodbye to India
Leaving India felt a lot like leaving college. Well, there were some major differences but the same concept of closing a chapter in life was definitely there. It's pretty normal to say things like 'We'll keep in touch' and 'I'll come back and visit,' but the reality is that things change and even if you do keep in touch (a little) and even if you do go back (one day) things will never be the same again. I tried so hard to breathe in those last few days--the smells, the food, the people, all the crazy sights on the side of the road. I think it's really hard to grasp the final days of anything. You feel like you should appreciate everything and make the most of every moment, but I'm starting to wonder whether or not you can actually do that in all it's fullness until it's gone.
Africa
I got to see Abby in Africa! It was so so SO great! Abby and I have never had to rely on our surroundings for entertainment, but nevertheless Africa was the perfect backdrop for our reunion. She was waiting for me with all her Masaai buddies at the airport and I got to live life with her for about ten days. We went to the market, we drank coffee, we watched Seinfeld, we worked out, we spent time with her friends...we also took a mini vacation to Zanzibar with her roommate, Mina. Zanzibar is definitely one of the coolest places I've ever seen. It's such a unique mixture of Muslim and African culture, not to mention it's incredibly beautiful. When I flew out of Tanzania I had the most amazing view of Kilimanjaro from my window. It was breathtaking, rising above the clouds and literally kissing the face of heaven. The plane was full of tourists all scrambling for their cameras and leaning over me to take pictures (which was incredibly annoying). Seriously. Why does anyone think a picture of Kili from an airplane window is worth forfeiting actually sitting and observing it with your own two eyes? Come on people. Google it and find a good aerial picture taken by someone with a better camera than you.
America
I was so nervous when my plane landed in DC. I'm not sure why. Everything felt normal, but strangely unfamiliar at the same time. Or maybe I was just aware that I was the unfamiliar one. That was probably it. I stayed with my cousin Linda one night and Suzanne the other night. It was great fun to hang out with them and ease back into American life in none other than our nation's capital.
Two days after I touched down on the homeland I went to North Carolina to see my boyfriend! Jared and I planned a dramatic airport reunion that ended up not being quite so dramatic since he was waiting for me in the wrong terminal when I arrived:) Even so it was great! He took me to Chik-fil-A and then to his house where I met his parents. The next couple of weeks involved traveling around and visiting all his family and friends throughout the South. Our roadtrip came to an end in Richland, Missouri where I was reunited with my family and friends.
Last week we took a trip down to OBU and I got to hang with the final members of the Fab Five, Megan and Melissa. We also spent some quality time with Steve and Lindsey, our friends from India who now work at OBU. Zip Bang!
Below are some snapshots for your viewing pleasure
Jared is pretty much the best guy in the entire world. Richland is a culture all of it's own and he's adapted well to the town and to my family. Here's how you know you're in Richland, MO.
Toby Keith is quoted at your bible study
Your father's fantasy football team is named the Deep Ozark Mullets
The annual men's campout at your church involves Civil War reenactments
Haha. Richland is awesome. My family is awesome too. I may not live in India anymore, but this place is full of inspiration so there should still be plenty to write about!
Sometimes I worry that India is slipping away from me. When I think about the way I used to live it kind of feels like a dream. There are some things I've carried with me. I move a little slower. I have little interest in technology or watching television. I hate wasting any food. I'm not very attached to stuff anymore and have thrown or given half of what was in my room away.
It's been surprisingly easy to transition back into being American. I've enjoyed feeling productive and accomplishing more than one or two things in a day. I enjoy driving my car and buying all my groceries in one store (although prices are ridiculous). I enjoy not being verbally harrassed by men in tight pants and sweater vests. However, the not so great things about our culture have started to loom over my head as well. In India I never felt self conscious about what I wore or how things fit me or what I looked like. Now that I'm back in this matching, perfectly manicured world where everyone obsesses to be a size 2 I feel that old, ugly pressure again. Where oh where are my voluptuous Bollywood stars? Where are my mismatching hippie clothes? I'd love to stick it to the man (the Western fashion man that is) and parade around in my rainbow socks and salwar pants, but I'm not quite the rebel I thought considering I have a pair of skinny jeans in my closet. At least long shorts are in style, although I'm still having a hard time showing my legs in public.
Beyond the self-image war is the battle within to make something of myself. In India I could sit around with women all day practicing Hindi and throwing orange peels at monkeys. I'm not saying that this was always a satisfying way to spend my time, but I was free of the pressure to prove myself. This was a tough year. I battled giardia several times, a really harsh winter, lots of travel through the mountains, and certain political difficulties in my region. I supervised two volunteer teams and worked on two national trainings. I was in seven countries this year, six in six weeks. I said hello and goodbye to a lot of people. At various times I struggled with restlessness, depression, and boredom. I packed up and moved myself from the Himalayas back to America. I came home a very different person than when I left. I came home to a very different life than I left. So all that to say A LOT has happened, but I still feel guilty taking some time off to rest and unpack my things. I feel like I should be doing more. I feel so far from where I was in India--trekking to villages, spending hours with people talking in their homes, drinking ten cups of chai a day, never wearing a watch or knowing what time or day it was.
I guess the natural thing is to compare one place with another place and one culture with another culture. We piece together different aspects of different places to create the 'ideal' place and culture in our minds, but overall that is pretty pointless because each place is what it is. It's better for me to think about who I want to be where I am now and I'm still trying to figure that out. I'll probably never figure it out though so don't judge me if my clothes don't match. I'm a little confused.
Goodbye to India
Leaving India felt a lot like leaving college. Well, there were some major differences but the same concept of closing a chapter in life was definitely there. It's pretty normal to say things like 'We'll keep in touch' and 'I'll come back and visit,' but the reality is that things change and even if you do keep in touch (a little) and even if you do go back (one day) things will never be the same again. I tried so hard to breathe in those last few days--the smells, the food, the people, all the crazy sights on the side of the road. I think it's really hard to grasp the final days of anything. You feel like you should appreciate everything and make the most of every moment, but I'm starting to wonder whether or not you can actually do that in all it's fullness until it's gone.
Africa
I got to see Abby in Africa! It was so so SO great! Abby and I have never had to rely on our surroundings for entertainment, but nevertheless Africa was the perfect backdrop for our reunion. She was waiting for me with all her Masaai buddies at the airport and I got to live life with her for about ten days. We went to the market, we drank coffee, we watched Seinfeld, we worked out, we spent time with her friends...we also took a mini vacation to Zanzibar with her roommate, Mina. Zanzibar is definitely one of the coolest places I've ever seen. It's such a unique mixture of Muslim and African culture, not to mention it's incredibly beautiful. When I flew out of Tanzania I had the most amazing view of Kilimanjaro from my window. It was breathtaking, rising above the clouds and literally kissing the face of heaven. The plane was full of tourists all scrambling for their cameras and leaning over me to take pictures (which was incredibly annoying). Seriously. Why does anyone think a picture of Kili from an airplane window is worth forfeiting actually sitting and observing it with your own two eyes? Come on people. Google it and find a good aerial picture taken by someone with a better camera than you.
America
I was so nervous when my plane landed in DC. I'm not sure why. Everything felt normal, but strangely unfamiliar at the same time. Or maybe I was just aware that I was the unfamiliar one. That was probably it. I stayed with my cousin Linda one night and Suzanne the other night. It was great fun to hang out with them and ease back into American life in none other than our nation's capital.
Two days after I touched down on the homeland I went to North Carolina to see my boyfriend! Jared and I planned a dramatic airport reunion that ended up not being quite so dramatic since he was waiting for me in the wrong terminal when I arrived:) Even so it was great! He took me to Chik-fil-A and then to his house where I met his parents. The next couple of weeks involved traveling around and visiting all his family and friends throughout the South. Our roadtrip came to an end in Richland, Missouri where I was reunited with my family and friends.
Last week we took a trip down to OBU and I got to hang with the final members of the Fab Five, Megan and Melissa. We also spent some quality time with Steve and Lindsey, our friends from India who now work at OBU. Zip Bang!
Below are some snapshots for your viewing pleasure
Jared is pretty much the best guy in the entire world. Richland is a culture all of it's own and he's adapted well to the town and to my family. Here's how you know you're in Richland, MO.
Toby Keith is quoted at your bible study
Your father's fantasy football team is named the Deep Ozark Mullets
The annual men's campout at your church involves Civil War reenactments
Haha. Richland is awesome. My family is awesome too. I may not live in India anymore, but this place is full of inspiration so there should still be plenty to write about!
Sometimes I worry that India is slipping away from me. When I think about the way I used to live it kind of feels like a dream. There are some things I've carried with me. I move a little slower. I have little interest in technology or watching television. I hate wasting any food. I'm not very attached to stuff anymore and have thrown or given half of what was in my room away.
It's been surprisingly easy to transition back into being American. I've enjoyed feeling productive and accomplishing more than one or two things in a day. I enjoy driving my car and buying all my groceries in one store (although prices are ridiculous). I enjoy not being verbally harrassed by men in tight pants and sweater vests. However, the not so great things about our culture have started to loom over my head as well. In India I never felt self conscious about what I wore or how things fit me or what I looked like. Now that I'm back in this matching, perfectly manicured world where everyone obsesses to be a size 2 I feel that old, ugly pressure again. Where oh where are my voluptuous Bollywood stars? Where are my mismatching hippie clothes? I'd love to stick it to the man (the Western fashion man that is) and parade around in my rainbow socks and salwar pants, but I'm not quite the rebel I thought considering I have a pair of skinny jeans in my closet. At least long shorts are in style, although I'm still having a hard time showing my legs in public.
Beyond the self-image war is the battle within to make something of myself. In India I could sit around with women all day practicing Hindi and throwing orange peels at monkeys. I'm not saying that this was always a satisfying way to spend my time, but I was free of the pressure to prove myself. This was a tough year. I battled giardia several times, a really harsh winter, lots of travel through the mountains, and certain political difficulties in my region. I supervised two volunteer teams and worked on two national trainings. I was in seven countries this year, six in six weeks. I said hello and goodbye to a lot of people. At various times I struggled with restlessness, depression, and boredom. I packed up and moved myself from the Himalayas back to America. I came home a very different person than when I left. I came home to a very different life than I left. So all that to say A LOT has happened, but I still feel guilty taking some time off to rest and unpack my things. I feel like I should be doing more. I feel so far from where I was in India--trekking to villages, spending hours with people talking in their homes, drinking ten cups of chai a day, never wearing a watch or knowing what time or day it was.
I guess the natural thing is to compare one place with another place and one culture with another culture. We piece together different aspects of different places to create the 'ideal' place and culture in our minds, but overall that is pretty pointless because each place is what it is. It's better for me to think about who I want to be where I am now and I'm still trying to figure that out. I'll probably never figure it out though so don't judge me if my clothes don't match. I'm a little confused.
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