i, julie, take thee, jared...

there's a rather mercurial spring rain falling outside. it began as a refreshing shower, the kind where the sun still shines through the clouds, and is now hitting my window as though it was shot from the sky with an angry pellet gun. such is missouri weather. i wouldn't mind so much except i'm trying to write my wedding vows. jared and i assumed we'd just find some off the internet, but we should've known better. we're both way too particular about the words we say (especially when it's a vow!) to just copy and paste them. alas, we decided to write them. so here i am trying to concentrate and pretend that it doesn't sound like my house is about to blow away.

i did come across some interesting stuff while researching wedding vows. they have all different kinds now: christian traditional, interfaith, non-traditional, humorous, remarriage, etc. yes, vows can be tailor made to fit our individual needs and desires. isn't that great? maybe it would be if humans had it in themselves to keep these outrageous promises we make to one another. but we can't. we definitely and absolutely do not have the ability to sacrificially give ourselves to another person for a lifetime unless we draw strength from a higher source of love and grace. and i'm not talking about just divorce. i'm talking about everyday sacrifice, forgiveness, and selflessness--things that are unnatural to our carnal nature. maybe my assessment seems cynical, but these are the feelings that came out during my research, especially inspired by two groups.

the sappy and shallow vows-- i watched this video on Godtube (who knew there was such a thing) that looked like it came straight from a soap opera wedding. the guy actually told this girl she was his only hope. and she replied with a very touching proclamation that she didn't need to live in mansion, she just needed to live in his arms. i am a sentimental person but i was cracking up as i watched this couple worship each other. i understand people who are not christians using their weddings as a time to praise earthly love, but it bothers me when christians say things like that because it isn't what we believe. we believe that marriage is a gift of God, but our completeness and hope is in the Cross and relationship with Jesus. Another human being can be our beloved companion on this journey, but they can never be our salvation. so statements like (and i quote) 'i know i'm not perfect but we will be perfect together' belong in the soap operas but not in christian weddings. beyond all that, it just sounds stupid. i'm pretty sure when i have the flu and throw up everywhere jared isn't going to talk about living in my arms or how perfect i am while he's cleaning it up.

the lackadaisical vows-- i found a really interesting article about a trend where people are deciding to make their vows a little less 'permanent.' some people feel guilty saying till death do us part because they're just not sure their marriages will last. instead they're using statements like 'for as long as we continue to love each other' and 'for as long as our marriage shall serve the greater good.' i have less to say about this group than the last one. at least they're being more truthful, but i just don't understand why they even bother to write vows at all. a righteous man 'keeps his oath even when it hurts.' why would anyone want to make an unrighteous vow in front of God, family, and friends? heck, just have a barbeque, sign a piece of paper, and go live together.

well, i guess i have a better idea of what i don't want to write at the moment. actually i do know what i want to say, i'm just being overly picky about how to word it all. i should get back to it! thanks for listening to my rantings. i will leave you with something more positive. i recently spoke to my church about india and my friend starlia took a picture of me in my sari. i put it on all by myself and i'm so proud i have to post the picture. it made me really miss india!