It's Foreign on this Side

2008-07-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

i changed my blog. this one is mostly about india and now my life is very different from the way it was then. so, here's the new one!

hmm...it won't display the link. another good reason to switch to wordpress. ok, here is the address. juliejames.wordpress.com. it will take a little more effort to type it in than just clicking it. sorry.

confessions of a job searcher

2008-07-03T18:50:00.000-07:00

time for my usual 'every now and then' blog. we've been busy trying to wrap up our time in missouri and get ready for our coming adventure in dc. i feel like we're as prepared as we can be, which is uncharacteristic of me. i'm not sure i've ever felt prepared for anything. maybe jared makes me a little more grounded. or maybe i'm in denial.

we have a tiny little apartment on capitol hill. i have only lived three places in my life: richland, shawnee, and the himalayas. capitol hill is a big jump for me. but yes, we are literally ten minutes away from union station and paying dearly for such a great location. what surprises me is that i'm very comfortable in dc despite my small town-ness. i know the metro system really well. i have finally figured out the stupid quadrants the whole city is divided in. as far as cities go dc is very manageable.

i actually just returned from dc. i flew out on a whim for three different job interviews. my dear friend, jessie, and i both crashed with suzanne and we had a great time. jessie was nice enough to walk with me to my different interviews and it was such a blessing to have someone to process everything with. she is also looking for jobs in dc and we are very much in the same boat. we lived together for a year in college and used to build forts in our apartment. whenever we got stressed we would hide in our forts and eat apples and peanut butter. how good of the Lord to bring us back together and give us each other during this time. i'm not sure what His plan is for us but i can't help but hope we end up being neighbors on capitol hill.

as for the jobs--well, i can honestly say i have worked very hard to find a job. i had three wonderful interviews and would be happy to have any of those jobs, but the decision is out of my hands. of course, nothing can make you feel like a loser faster than job rejection... even so, i know i am not a loser. i put on a power suit and trudged through the humid air to put myself on the line on the tenth floor of ritzy office buildings. i was nervous but it was still a piece of cake compared to trekking through ice and snow alongside poor donkeys until my feet turned blue. the hard thing is how easy it is to forget all that now that i'm heading towards washington. for some reason i feel like i should naturally transition from mountain girl to top notch non profit executive.

pride comes in both a sari and a power suit. and i don't want any part of it. i will feel disappointed if none of these jobs work out but i will keep looking. i will choose to be satisfied with what the Lord provides because He knows what is best for jared and me. so if any of you hear me complain about my employment (or lack thereof) PLEASE smack me in the head and tell me i didn't live in the third world for no reason. remind me that so many in the country i love will never have a chance to work at all.

well, thank you for reading my thoughts sans pictures. i have a cute one of suzanne, jessie, and me but i forgot my camera cord. and dang it, kelley, i just remembered i never sent you that picture of us. and i KNOW you did not forget because that is how you are :) i shall send it soon!

please come visit us in dc. we will be there in two weeks!

life and rest and joy and peace

2008-05-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

now that the wedding has come and gone life can slow down right? not exactly! we came back from our new england honeymoon, went back to work for a couple of weeks, and then made the long drive to the east coast to check out our new city! we also went to lindsay's graduation and visited a lot of jared's family and friends (along with my dear friend, kelley caskey!). i have good pictures to share but can't upload them at the present time. besides the point of this particular post is really not to give you a play by play of our current roadtrip. and as kelley says, the blog world doesn't particularly care if you went to target, ate really good hummus, or watched your brother's rock band (although i do have some spectacular footage of that event).

it's been nearly ten months since i left india and certain changes in myself are just now becoming evident. i think so much of what we call 'change' is actually adaptation. for example i thought my two years overseas would forever change the way i grocery shopped, but the truth is i adapted rather quickly. after a couple of weeks i no longer felt overwhelmed in the cereal aisle and i re-learned how to use the microwave. change, however, lingers even after everything else has fallen into place. change is remembering how you used to feel about certain things and wonder why you no longer feel the same way.

we are moving to dc in less than two months. we've been actively looking for apartments. jared is registered for his fall classes and i am job searching. i've made some connections, i've put some applications in, and i'm continuing to look for opportunities that i will be a good fit for (and will hopefully pay our ginormous monthly rent). job searching is like fishing and job searching in dc while you live in missouri is like fishing on a really bad day. i have some options, but seriously doubt i will secure anything until we move up there, which is a tough but good thing for someone who likes to get things done as soon as possible. i need to learn patience.

my job search has shown me i have a much different view of myself than i used to. although i'm being as proactive as possible i can't help but feel a little bit of tension as i pour through job listings. i like to work hard and believe that i can do the things many of them require, but many of the descriptions are looking for someone who is 'top notch' or 'savvy' or 'sophisticated.' how can i sell myself as any of those things? it's hard to feel sophisticated when i spent two years shivering in yak wool and throwing up half my food because i had so many parasites. i could hardly call myself savvy after stumbling through broken hindi just to buy bread and vegetables in the market. and how can i possibly feel top notch after living among the world's absolute poor, sick, and dying--especially when so many of them offered me the best they had. the truth is that i have a much different set of eyes now than i did when i interned in dc in college. i guess it's better to not be overly ambitious or self-assured, but i do want to have the confidence i need to perform well in whatever position i have.

jared is much more laid back about the upcoming changes. he thinks that i put too much pressure on myself and he is probably right. i remember a quote i read during a devotional time in india that said, 'are you more comfortable in activity than you are in abiding.' this is definitely true of me and i have long since prayed that God will help me be a person of peace. a few days ago i was playing some hymns on the piano (i don't really play the piano but i can read music and i enjoy trying to play even though i'm not very good) and i was moved by the third verse of 'tis so sweet to trust in jesus.' so, for all you people out there who struggle to be peaceful i hope this verse will speak to you the way it does to me.

tis so sweet to trust in jesus
just from sin and self to cease
just from jesus simply taking
life and rest and joy and peace

amen to that! i don't know when i'll blog again but before i bring this one to an end i want to share my favorite wedding picture with you.

It's A Wedding Blog!!!

2008-04-26T16:22:00.001-07:00

Jared and I have been married all of three weeks now and, well, what kind of girl doesn't blog about her own wedding? You have to forgive me--we live with my grandma now and she doesn't have internet. By now you with facebook have probably already seen most of these pictures but I wanted to put some on here anyway.

When I first started planning our wedding I had a vision of keeping it a small and simple affair. I think a lot of that came from my own personal doubts that a lot of people would actually come, not because people don't like us but because so many of our friends and family live out of town/state. In this day of rising prices and the horrible airline industry (see post below) I didn't expect people to travel all the way to Richland, which is not the easiest place in the world to get to. BUT, God showered grace upon us like a thunderstorm--SO many people came to our wedding! I was a millimeter away from becoming a sobbing, slobbery mess the whole time because I was so moved by the love God, our family, and all our friends have for us.

It was perfect. Minus a few special people almost everyone was there. I kept looking around thinking 'Is this really happening?' The week of the wedding had been the usual volatile Missouri spring with an hour of sunshine followed by an hour of torrential rain and hail. But praise the Lord the weekend was lovely (for the most part). I picked up my India girls on Thursday and we had a pizza party that night with Jared's friends and both our families. Then the girls watched Bride and Prejudice while the amazing April did our henna. We all knew April was good, but she really out did herself--everyone was amazed, as they should have been, by her genius.

Friday morning all my friends had a personal shower for me at this little restaurant called The Blue Onyon (which is where my wallet was recovered two weeks after the wedding...see post below). It was so fun! I had friends from all stages of life there and it was nothing short of hilarious and incredible. I wish I could tell you more, but come on, it was a PERSONAL shower... That afternoon was pure chaos in the best sense of the word. We decorated the church and the gym and everyone was amazing and a huge help, but it was a lot of work! My parents were the stars of the show. They worked so hard! My dad, fortunately he's a lightbulb guy, managed to string these lights across the gym with the help of some other guys. He was practically subhuman through the whole thing. It seemed like there were five of him running around, which is pretty normal if you know my dad. It was my mom's idea to get matching tables and chairs so that made everything look much better than it would have if we'd used the ones already there--good call mom! Even though it was crazy i wouldn't change a thing. i had such a great time and felt so special that so many people were willing to help.

Friday night was the rehearsal and the dinner. jared's parents worked really hard to make it special. ruby tuesday's catered and we had a special video with all our pictures. we expanded the dinner to include more than the wedding party--all our relatives and out of town friends were there. our friends shared special stories about us and then chesed surprised us with a song she and alicia wrote (with a little help from jared's friends) and it was all i could do to keep from losing it! if there was ever a moment where you felt like saying, 'look at me, i am LOVED,' that was it!

the actual wedding day was really fun. everyone told me to slow down and enjoy it but i couldn't focus on anything. getting ready and taking pictures kind of feels like a blur now, although i do remember wishing i had worn more comfortable shoes. the ceremony was great! we wanted it to be a spiritual and reverent time, and it really was everything we hoped it would be. i was so glad we wrote our own vows because they really seemed to communicate what we wanted them to--so many people have asked for copies of our vows! we wanted everyone to know that we were there because God was good to us and gave us what we didn't deserve and He's the One who deserved to be celebrated--not us. i think most people got that from our ceremony so what more could we ask for? we had a lovely reception and i spent the majority of it walking around taking pictures and talking to people. i didn't realize i hadn't busseled my dress until about halfway through--boy did walking get a lot easier after that!

it may sound cheesy but i really feel like i had the wedding of my dreams. God has given jared and me such a neat story and i'm so glad we were able to celebrate it with so many loved ones. everything was so beautiful and i wouldn't change a thing. i might change losing my wallet and almost getting kicked out of the airport on the first day of our honeymoon, but that would really be the only thing! in case you read my previous blog and were wondering...we did make it to our final destination and had a great time. more about that later!

as for right now...we are preparing for our move to dc! in a couple of weeks we will be in nc for lindsay's graduation and then we are going up to dc to apartment hunt. our most exciting news at the moment is that jared just received a scholarship from american that covers most of his tuition! praise God! we weren't expecting him to get anything because it was getting late but the Lord surpassed our expectations once again! i guess i'm not too surprised though--my husband is pretty smart. and he worked in mother theresa's home in calcutta and what university doesn't like stuff like that? right now i am in the process of job searching. i actually just applied for my first job today, which i'm very underqualified for, but hey, dream big right? i have found a few jobs that are a little more realistic and will apply for those next week. pray for me! ...or hire me if you are an employer in the dc area :)

2008-04-06T10:07:00.000-07:00

i got married yesterday...yay! so why on earth am i blogging? good question. we're supposed to be in boston right now, but thanks to the continual degradation of customer service and real freedom in america we're stuck in the kansas city airport. i hate this airport because the security team is always terribly rude and anal (way beyond the norm--and i've been in a lot of airports), today it surpassed anything i've experienced before.

due to the craziness of the wedding i accidentally misplaced my driver's license.
i decided to use my passport instead since it's a valid id and i've used it a million times before both in america and overseas. i was stopped at security so they could examine my passport. jared and i stood over to the side while more and more 'officials' came to check it out. then they came over to me and said that since my passport has tape in it they were concerned it wasn't valid. by tape i don't mean masking tape or duct tape--i mean a clear seal placed in the passport by the united states government. i got my passport amended a couple of years ago. there are two different stamps stating the official amendement, as well as the date it occurred. i informed security of all this, but they continued to call more people, including the police, to check it out. at that point i started to get frustrated. i'm a very calm person, but i was slightly annoyed at being accused of passport tampering. i am not proud to say my demeanor became a little disagreeable. you see, i usually fail to be assertive in situations like this and i'm later mad at myself for not taking a stand. however, when i do express my anger i get emotional and cry, which later makes me feel bad too.

after awhile another guy came and told me i should get a new passport because mine is a little worn on the top edge. i was like, 'hello, you looked through it. can you not see how much it has been used? it's amazing it looks as good as it does. it isn't damaged or anything.' then a police officer came over and told me that everyone was just doing their jobs. he said that i should be glad that the airport cared enough to look into a passport with tape on it. i told him that this was anything but courteous and the real problem was that they didn't have a clue what an amended passport looks like. he replied 'we know what an amended passport is. if we didn't know the passport had been amended we'd be hauling you off in handcuffs.' i almost laughed. seriously? handcuffs? you would think it was an episode of law and order. but the main thing is that he was lying--if they knew what an amended passport looked like, heck, if they could READ the official stamp inside the passport, then none of this would have been an issue. by this point i was in tears (lovely, jules) and i know everyone felt bad for jared because he was stuck with a crazy woman. we were both subjected to a full search and so was all of our stuff. meanwhile, the gate was calling our name but the security team made no effort to help us make our flight. we missed it. after it was all over and they decided that i was actually a law abiding citizen with a valid id they told us, 'i hope this doesn't ruin your honeymoon.' No--public humiliation, being accused of passport tampering, and being delayed four additional hours should just roll right off my back.

my personal opinion is that a passport is much more valid than other kinds of id. it's a federal document, belong to the us of a--not me or pompous kci airline security. the problem is that airline security can treat people however they want and say , 'we're just trying to keep people safe.' safe from what? i've flown all over the world. it used to be easy. in this day and age, however, i have to throw away water bottles and sunscreen, have my body shot with air pockets to check for chemical residue, strip down to my last layer of clothing, and be publicly accused of illegal tampering all in the name of safety. it's completely ridiculous. i want airlines to take precautionary measures, but i think we're going way too far. if someone wants to commit a terrorist act they always find a way to do it. in the meantime, law abiding and paying customers are being subjected to terrible violations and customer service.

ok--i am finished now. i think we just may be headed to boston soon...assuming they let me on the plane.

***disclaimer
i've used my passport in a lot of us airports and kci is the only one that gave me trouble. but it's only because they're an airport that 'cares.'

i, julie, take thee, jared...

2008-03-27T20:52:00.000-07:00

there's a rather mercurial spring rain falling outside. it began as a refreshing shower, the kind where the sun still shines through the clouds, and is now hitting my window as though it was shot from the sky with an angry pellet gun. such is missouri weather. i wouldn't mind so much except i'm trying to write my wedding vows. jared and i assumed we'd just find some off the internet, but we should've known better. we're both way too particular about the words we say (especially when it's a vow!) to just copy and paste them. alas, we decided to write them. so here i am trying to concentrate and pretend that it doesn't sound like my house is about to blow away.

i did come across some interesting stuff while researching wedding vows. they have all different kinds now: christian traditional, interfaith, non-traditional, humorous, remarriage, etc. yes, vows can be tailor made to fit our individual needs and desires. isn't that great? maybe it would be if humans had it in themselves to keep these outrageous promises we make to one another. but we can't. we definitely and absolutely do not have the ability to sacrificially give ourselves to another person for a lifetime unless we draw strength from a higher source of love and grace. and i'm not talking about just divorce. i'm talking about everyday sacrifice, forgiveness, and selflessness--things that are unnatural to our carnal nature. maybe my assessment seems cynical, but these are the feelings that came out during my research, especially inspired by two groups.

the sappy and shallow vows-- i watched this video on Godtube (who knew there was such a thing) that looked like it came straight from a soap opera wedding. the guy actually told this girl she was his only hope. and she replied with a very touching proclamation that she didn't need to live in mansion, she just needed to live in his arms. i am a sentimental person but i was cracking up as i watched this couple worship each other. i understand people who are not christians using their weddings as a time to praise earthly love, but it bothers me when christians say things like that because it isn't what we believe. we believe that marriage is a gift of God, but our completeness and hope is in the Cross and relationship with Jesus. Another human being can be our beloved companion on this journey, but they can never be our salvation. so statements like (and i quote) 'i know i'm not perfect but we will be perfect together' belong in the soap operas but not in christian weddings. beyond all that, it just sounds stupid. i'm pretty sure when i have the flu and throw up everywhere jared isn't going to talk about living in my arms or how perfect i am while he's cleaning it up.

the lackadaisical vows-- i found a really interesting article about a trend where people are deciding to make their vows a little less 'permanent.' some people feel guilty saying till death do us part because they're just not sure their marriages will last. instead they're using statements like 'for as long as we continue to love each other' and 'for as long as our marriage shall serve the greater good.' i have less to say about this group than the last one. at least they're being more truthful, but i just don't understand why they even bother to write vows at all. a righteous man 'keeps his oath even when it hurts.' why would anyone want to make an unrighteous vow in front of God, family, and friends? heck, just have a barbeque, sign a piece of paper, and go live together.

well, i guess i have a better idea of what i don't want to write at the moment. actually i do know what i want to say, i'm just being overly picky about how to word it all. i should get back to it! thanks for listening to my rantings. i will leave you with something more positive. i recently spoke to my church about india and my friend starlia took a picture of me in my sari. i put it on all by myself and i'm so proud i have to post the picture. it made me really miss india!

march madness

2008-03-18T22:09:00.001-07:00

i cannot BELIEVE i am blogging right now. i should be fast asleep preparing for a day of answering phones and entering purchase orders. but how can a girl sleep when her wedding is two and a half weeks away? besides, i was chastised recently for being a sorry excuse for a blogger. here's what i've discovered: america=bad blogging. there's just not time. time was abundant in asia. here it is a luxury.

last week we spent five days in east texas for my uncle's funeral. he came to know the Lord six years ago. he was a big man with a lot of energy, but his back started hurting and he got sick. in just a matter of days he was diagnosed with rare bone cancer and liver failure. the service was lovely and i'd started writing my own deep thoughts on death and dying but never got around to finishing it. i do think death is a celebration for those with eternal hope, but it has such a sobering effect on me. i stand with my feet on the ground and breathe the air a little more deeply. i stare intently at my fingers and think about how someone God has created, someone unlike anyone or anything else that has ever lived, no longer exists in this world as we know it. if it weren't for my faith in the cross and resurrection i wouldn't be able to handle such despairing reality.

we returned home just in time for my weekend excursion to st. louis with my three best childhood friends. i know it seems like a weird transition after talking about death, but it's the order of my life. we went to see a musical at the fabulous fox theatre--the wedding singer. i guess you could accuse me for having shallow taste in musicals but i loved it! the eighties clothes were so fun, and it was a great experience to share with my friends. christy, charity, and jessica, also took me to eat thai and indian food, which may not have been their preference but it's two of my favorite cuisines. what great friends!

jared and i had our church wedding shower on sunday. all i can say about that is that we have some pretty amazing and generous people in our church. we even got bikes! courtesy of aunt marsha.

and last but not least we now have an answer to the question that has been on my mind for quite a few months now. where are we moving?

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DC!!! jared got accepted into american university so that's where we're headed this fall. i've already started looking for jobs and will probably apply in may. i'm excited--to be honest i would love to move back overseas but hopefully this will be a time where we can develop more skills to help people.

this has been a pretty general post, but i have so many things to get done these coming weeks! i've already had three dreams about everything going wrong on our wedding day. i think barack obama's pastor was in one of them. also, i've been trying to clean out my room, but i always end up looking at pictures and reading old letters and crying. to top it off i went for my final dress fitting today and the seamstress made my dress a little too tight on the top. she very rudely asked me if i gained weight. i don't know about you other ladies out there but when i gain weight it all goes to my back. man, my back just gets so wide that i have to start wearing football jerseys. needless to say i pointed out that my weight was the same and she did the alterations wrong, but really, what a mean lady! at least when indians tell you that you're fat they smile at you with toothy grins. thank goodness for india. whenever i feel a little frazzled i think about india. and then i thank God for the many blessings He's given that i do not deserve.

2008-01-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

I never gave an update on the rest of my So Cal trip, but if you read Alicia's blog you already know everything that happened! Even so, here's two of my favorite pictures. One is Malibu beach just as the sun was beginning to set, and the other one is us lounging on Hollyood Boulevard. When Alicia dropped me off at the airport to fly back to Kansas City we both felt bittersweet, the kind of feeling that envelopes you when change is near, and even though it's good change it's still a little hard. If you used to watch Friends maybe you would call it 'the end of an era.' The next time I see Alicia I'll be getting married.

The wedding is two months away. I've been addressing invitations, picking out flowers, and trying to figure out how to make my church gym look pretty. Lots of people have asked me how the planning is going, along with other various questions, so I thought I'd try and answer some of those on this blog.

The date is April 5th. The colors are chocolate brown, sage, and plum. We have five bridesmaids and five groomsmen. I have three songs including the processional and recessional. My cake is chocolate. Jared wants a picture of a leopard fighting a dragon on his cake but I've yet to find anything close to that. The flowers are cala lilies, hydrangeas, and tulips. We're having dinner but no dancing--I live in the country and I do not want Cotton Eye Joe played at my wedding. Along those same lines there will be no country love songs in the ceremony. We're going to Boston and Maine for our honeymoon. We're going to move in with my grandma after we get married. Jared's applied to grad school in Philadelphia and DC--so we're waiting to hear back and hopefully moving at the end of the summer! He wants to study international development and I want to pay our bills. One day we want to move back overseas. We don't know where yet.

Ok...that covers most of the questions I've been asked. Any others are welcome. I've enjoyed wedding planning, but I'm looking forward to actually being married. We've gone to several sessions of premarital counseling, and it's been fun to learn how to communicate with one another on a whole new level. I thought we were the poster couple for communication since the first year of our relationship occurred over the phone, but I've been humbled more than once through the small things. I usually make lunch for us and bring it work--nothing special, just sandwiches, fruit, veggies, and hummus. Anyway, Jared almost apologetically asked me the other day if I could put a little less mustard on his sandwich. Poor guy. I never thought about how normal people don't glob tons of mustard on their sanwiches the way I do. He'd been eating mustard with a little bread and turkey on the side for months without saying a word. I've had to learn not to assume that he likes everything the way I do. So what about all my married friends who read this blog? Any other helpful advice you can give me?

It's snowing here in the Midwest. I've been flipping through the pages of 1 John and reading about God's love and walking in the light and having fellowship with one another. On Super Bowl Sunday I'm speaking at an event put on by several churches in this area. You could say I'm the halftime entertainment...and I've gone back and forth over what to speak about. My high school bible study has been reading Isaiah 61, but for some reason I keep finding myself going back to 1 John. There's probably a reason for that. I guess I should get back to studying, but I'll let you know how it goes!

grand? canyon

2008-01-07T21:44:00.000-08:00

i drove to kansas city friday night, woke up at 4:30 saturday morning, flew to southern california and began a whirlwind of a vacation with alicia! after hanging out with friends all day we decided to take a road trip to the grand canyon. the canyon is approximately seven hours from alicia's house so we figured if we drove through the night we could make it to see the sunrise. since we'll both turn 25 in 2008 we were in dire need of feeling young and crazy and spontaneous.

well, my friends, there are better ways to combat a quarter life crisis. my poor college graduate body passed out on the way there (i guess i couldn't handle two nights without sleep). i woke up and we were in the middle of a snowstorm. we arrived at the canyon at six in the morning and wrapped ourselves in blankets. unfortunately the sunrise was less than majestic--it was more of a bright spot rising behind a wall of fog. we couldn't even get good pictures. such a bummer. i remember briefly going to the grand canyon when i was younger and it took my breath away. this time around my breath was more concentrated on keeping my hands from turning blue. ah well--all for the sake of spontaneity right? and we did get to use our south asian turban making skills.

2008-01-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

Journal entry from last Christmas. I was working at a counseling center in the Himalayas at the time. It's nice for me to look back on the intense lessons I learned in India--thankfully I recorded most of them.

If you want to buy rat poison in India they will ask you what it's for. Stupid question but they have to ask. Why? Because many people buy it and then consume it to commit suicide. Pinky committed suicide. I don't know if she used rat poison, but she is dead. She is dead but her face has never been more alive in my mind.

I wish a lot of things. I wish I could speak Hindi better. And I could if I practiced more. I wish I was in better shape. And I would be if I worked out more. I wish I could play some kind of instrument. And maybe I will someday if I put forth the effort. I wish I could snowboard, sew, write compelling stories, speak to large audiences, go to Ivy League schools, help end poverty, and more. And who knows? If I tried hard enough maybe I could do all these things.

But deep down I don't really care about any of these things. Deep down all I want is to save people. And I can't. I never will.

It's the first week of January and many people are in the process of trying to improve some area of their lives. Most of them will quit in another week or two. Let us not forget who really gives life meaning. Let us not shrink back from pointing others to the one who really saves people.

I've actually had a lot of fun reflecting. Jared and I celebrated the new year and our one year anniversary in downtown St. Louis. One year ago Jared asked me on Skype to be his girlfriend. It didn't really change anything since we were on opposite sides of the world, but we were still excited. We've made it through some tough challenges and transitions and now we only have three months until we get married. I'm so happy to be where we are now, but I do think back fondly on our long distance relationship. Long e-mails, hiking to ISD booths when my power went out, cards and bbq sauce in the mail...pretty special stuff, indeed.

I'm headed to Riverside, California tomorrow to spend a week with none other than, Alicia Ann Divers. I can't wait! It was NINE degrees when I went to work the other day! I was so mad! Give me some sixty degree California sunshine :)

tell me everything is wonderful now...

2007-12-09T11:16:00.000-08:00

Finally time for an update! Wow, blogging sure has gone down the drain for me. In some ways it makes me happy that my life doesn't revolve around my computer--or that I don't know who Heidi and Spencer are (who are they?) or what music is popular right now. But I sure do enjoy writing and I have to admit that blog ideas float around my head on a regular basis. So, yes, I still love my blog even though we're slightly estranged at the moment.

We're in the midst of a winter wonderland in the Ozarks. Some would call it an ice fortress. We had a terrible ice storm here last year that I was fortunate to miss. Everyone is afraid of losing power again, but I wouldn't mind so much. I'm used to losing power and would love an excuse to go to bed at eight-o-clock. Even so, life must go on and for now I have to settle for waking up earlier so I can scrape ice off my car. But who really cares? As I write this I'm nearly falling asleep and you must be too. I don't want to write about the weather or how I'm trying to keep myself busy at work or how I need to finish my Christmas shopping. I want to write poetry, or at least in the spirit of poetry. I want to take the ordinary things in life and make them exciting and beautiful to read about. But it seems like the more I try to jazz up life the more I realize it's hardly the movie I create in my head. It wasn't even like that in India although I could make it sound that way on this blog. Life is completing the task before you that day, it's giving your time to others, it's being patient during the mess of transition, it's choosing to believe God instead of popular culture, it's scraping ice off your car and doing your job and buying gifts with joy in your heart. And it's good. It's good for what it is right now and better for what it's leading us towards.

Jared and I have been involved in numerous activities lately. We're serving on the missions team at church and our first project is this weekend. We're having a tutoring session for high school students in the community before their finals! I'm so excited! I've also starting mentoring high school girls. We meet once a week and it's been a humble experience so far. It's quite a change to go from Indian village people to American teenagers, but I'm finding that my heart is really with this group. We're learning some good stuff and I'll probably elaborate on that in future blogs. Finally, Jared took the GMAT last week and has begun applying to grad school. I'm so proud of him! He's worked really hard and it's such a blessing to see it all move forward. I look forward to informing you all of our future plans once they unfold. For now I will leave you with a plethora of pictures from Halloween, Thanksgiving, and our office Christmas party where Jared performed an incredible version of What Child is This?

and in case you were wondering...

I MISS INDIA!

but...

I STILL AM HAPPY TO BE WHERE I AM

Arabian Nights and Harlequin

2007-11-15T17:01:00.000-08:00

Marahaba! Last weekend I got to hang out with one of my best friends in the whole wide world! Suzanne and I were inseparable in college. We both majored in international business. She actually double majored in IB and finance while I minored in history (yeah, I was the weird one in the business school). We bonded while interning together at the Jordan Investment Board in Amman. Suzanne is Arab and has family in Jordan so we lived with them and worked to develop a marketing plan that would attract foreign businesses to invest in Jordan. There were some glamorous moments--meetings at the US Embassy and other various ministries and industrial zones (plus the side trips to Petra and the Dead Sea)--but life overseas can be slow. So after a hard day's work we would kick back and relax with hummus, argeeleh, and a good book.

I should preface the rest of this post by telling you that I read a lot of quality books that summer. The Three Musketeers, White Oleander, A Separate Peace, This Side of Paradise, etc... However, not all of our reading ended up being quality. Suzanne's grandma, who doesn't speak English, noticed our love for reading so one day she brought us a box of books. She was excited to give them to us so we looked through them and guess what we found? 1970 Harlequin books! We flipped through a couple of the books on top and that was it--we spent the rest of the day lying on the bed surrounded by Harlequins and laughing hysterically. I've never read a modern book of this nature but it's pretty funny to see how tastes and preferences have changed. Apparently it was quite attractive to have massive amounts of chest hair in the 1970's.

Anyway, Suzanne and I went on to write a 17 page report on foreign direct investment in Jordan. We graduated college the following year. I moved to India and she got her master's degree and now works for World Vision in DC. We both have a strong interest in development work, but now we're thinking about changing our career paths. We went to Target this weekend so I could start registering, but as usual, we spent most of our time in the book aisle. There, unfortunately, we found a whole stack of CHRISTIAN Harlequin books! Yes, I'm afraid so. Out of all the wonderful literary works in the world there's a market segment out there who would rather read about how the mysterious and handsome Beau saves Lily Rose's life and teaches her to love again. Which got us thinking...we could write stories like that. On our way back from Target we came up with the plot for our first book.

Cade McCallister survives the tragic accident that took his brother Coby's life. Bitter and angry he turns his back on God and on love. Coby's beautiful fiancee, Victoria Rosewood, although devastated, finds she cannot abandon her faith. She goes out west to work at a ranch for underpriveleged children and put back the pieces of her shattered heart. After much prompting Victoria convinces Cade to come and spend a week at the ranch where he bonds with, Lenny, an exceptionally difficult child who no one else can reach. Despite his new friendship he remains largely aloof and cynical towards God and faith. Then an unexpected turn of events changes everything. Now Lenny is missing and Cade and Victoria find themselves face to face with with the very same fears they tried to leave behind. Will their hearts be broken a second time? Or will love conquer all?

About the authors: Suzanne Ammari and Julie Reagan met at Oklahoma Baptist University where they were both business students. After some overseas experience they decided to forgo development work to reach the world through a much more effective avenue: Christian romance. Nevermind that all their characters have beautiful faces, perfect bodies, and ridiculous names. It is their desire to encourage you in your faith by creating stories you can relate to and identify with. We know there are thousands of struggling Christian women out there who know exactly what it's like to be a prairie bride or to experience heartbreak in a quaint ski village...

Ok, I fear I'm being a little too sarcastic. But I actually think Suz and I have a pretty good plot for our first book. Maybe one day I'll get around to writing it. Don't wait around though. Feel free to go ahead and read something else for the time being. I recommend A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.

I promise I have more valuable things to write about. This blog was mostly in honor of Suzanne, who really gets my sense of humor and never ceases to ignite my passion for humanitarian causes. Thanks for visiting, Suz! A salaam wa alaykum.

2007-10-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

The exciting news since my last blog is that Jared and I are engaged! Lots of people have asked about how it all went down--and, well, working eight hours a day doesn't leave much time for blogging or e-mail so I apologize for the delay. Thanks for caring though!

We both really enjoy being outside and hiking so one afternoon we went to this state park about thirty minutes from my house. In all honesty I was pretty tired and didn't feel like going, but I knew how much Jared hated laying around all day so I threw on some sweatpants and we went. The leaves have just started to change here in the Ozarks and it was a gorgeous day with perfect weather. We walked around for awhile and then sat down by a spring to read and talk. After reading a chapter of The Great Divorce (I realize the irony here but the book is not about marital divorce), we started talking about a number of different things. We were both sitting on these tree branches above the water and the next thing I knew he pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. I was completely surprised--so much so that it took me awhile to think of something to say. 'Yes' seemed too simplistic because of my great love for words, but the truth is that life's greatest moments can't really be expressed in the human language anyway, at least not fully. So I decided yes was an appropriate response, and perhaps better than any other.

I love the way it happened. It was so unexpected. He picked the ring out himself while I was in Virginia (well I think my cousin helped a little). We were outside. I was wearing sweatpants. It was perfect.

I jumped into wedding planning right away. We're both pretty simple, but when most of your friends and family live out of town even a simple wedding can get complicated. I don't really know what I'm doing. Growing up I was much more concerned with what kind of career I wanted than what my wedding would be like. Not to mention I've been living in a third world country for two years so I'm a little outdated in my style. Everyone has told me that I should do what I want to do and not worry about what anyone else thinks. So what do I want? I want things to be simple, meaningful, and fun. I want our friends and family to be there. Most of all I want to use the ceremony as a testimony of God's grace in our lives because it's only due to His unmerited favor that we're together. Everything else is pretty much secondary.

I've also realized that I don't know much about marriage. Unlike Jared most of my friends are unmarried. The few that are got married shortly before or while I was away. There's so much about me, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, that makes me feel unworthy to be in this position. At the same time it's been completely delightful to experience this side of God's love and character. When I focus on myself I only worry about failing. When I focus on God I get excited about what the future holds--a future with hope, promise, and redemption. It won't always be easy, but hopefully it will make us holier!

In other news...I've fallen prey to the fever and strep throat that has been going around Richland. I hate being sick. It's so depressing to sit at home and be unable to do anything but lay in bed and watch TV. Days of excessive TV watching are few and far between for me and now I remember why. The ability of entertainment to drive us farther and farther from reality scares me. Before I moved to India I was pretty apathetic towards all this, but now I sometimes wish we could just shut down the whole industry. There are so many people with heroic and meaningful stories to tell. Why do we give our attention to trivial talk shows, magazines about which celebs have cellulite, and stupid existential movies with meaningless plots? What happens when reality no longer becomes interesting? I understand the need to escape and to be entertained, but I also believe that we're being presented with some pretty low quality material this day and age. If my desire to be entertained compels me to give my attention and credibility to someone who openly mocks my faith and glorifies all kinds of reckless behavior without reaping any consequences--well, that's kind of a shame.

Thus I will sift through the entertainment industry and redefine my standards. Actually, I plan on getting healthy again soon so the TV will hopefully once again take a backseat in my life. But here's my first TV winner.

The Biggest Loser: I normally hate reality shows but this one seems to have the right focus and motives behind it. There's a lot of strategy type stuff to create drama, but overall the show makes heroes out of overweight people trying to become healthier for themselves and their families. I'm always so moved to see their responses when they lose weight because it's a genuine reaction to genuine hard work. So if my opinion means anything to you then this one is worth watching!

Transitions

2007-10-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

Life is pretty fluid. If I've learned anything during 24 years of life it's that nothing stays the same. I've also learned that there are different kinds of change. Physical, emotional, and spiritual development. The usual life stages of graduation, new jobs, marriage and family. Sometimes location and relationships depending on whether a person settles in one place or decides to periodically uproot themselves. It's amazing how quickly the body and mind adapt to change--better than we'd like to believe. People move and find new friends. People fall in love after 'broken' hearts. Etc. So yes, change is normal and good, but the truth is some changes are harder than others.

At my debriefing conference last week we looked at a scale for stress indicators. Studies have determined that people who move to a culture entirely different from their own lead a dangerously high stress life. Sometimes coming back from a foreign place after a long time can produce an equally (if not higher) level of stress. I think this is largely due to the degree of change involved. You aren't just starting a new job and making new friends--you're doing it somewhere where you don't know the language or the culture and everyone looks different from you. But you go to great lengths to adapt...and then you leave. It's hard. No matter what it may look like I certainly did not go on vacation for two years.

Debriefing was a good time to be with people who understand all of this. I can't expect anyone at home(except Jared) to really understand even if they want to. So I'm doing my best to quietly grieve the loss of a country I love, friends who became family, and a job that I found a lot of meaning and purpose in. There's no need for the innocent people of Richland to be subjected to my emotional break downs.

I started working for my family's lighting business. I like to jokingly tell people that I'm bringing a new light to the world. I work in the accounting department and also help answer the phones. It's a good job and the people I work with are really fun. It's nice to have some structure, but I have to admit that it's hard to go from such a relational job to being just a voice on the phone to someone who thinks I'm an idiot even though I have a college degree and probably speak more languages than they do. Time really is money. No one cares about sharpening their interpersonal skills or speaking someone else's love language, and sadly it's not my job to teach them that. Sadly I really am just a voice that gives them what they want even if they're incredibly rude because we don't care about their manners. We want their money. For the record I firmly believe rudeness should be punished, but as a new employee I will do as I'm told. Until I'm promoted (which will never happen) let me say that receptionists are people too. Smart people. And we're busy. Your call is one of a billion we get everyday. So be nice.

Time has become a new factor for me as well. Working eight hours gives me much less time to keep up with friends and do things I enjoy. I have to fight for that time. Jared and I try to be active. We go hiking on weekends and play frisbee and basketball whenever we can. We're also looking for the best way to be involved in church. Our favorite thing, however, is just to talk to each other and to my family. I guess we still haven't gotten over how great it is to be face to face! I'm trying to find new hobbies to keep me far away from the 'work all day and crash in front of the TV' rut. A good friend of mine asked me to edit a book she wrote, and it's been really fun so far. The written word is possibly one of my favorite ethereal things and I'd love to write more myself. As time consuming as it is, I'm really thankful that my family is letting Jared and me work for them. We're excited for the opportunity to save even though most of my money is going towards gas and doctor bills. I guess some would say welcome to the real world. Well, no--more like welcome to life in a first world country full of indebted consumers with ginormous vehicles and high definition TV. America is a beautiful place but it's the polar opposite of most of the world.

So life is good and slowly coming together. It's busy and I'm functioning in it, but I don't think I've fully transitioned yet. And that's ok. I'm strangely comfortable feeling out of place. I miss India. I love it. I miss my friends. I love them too. But I also love the Midwest. I love my family. I love Jared. I love God. And all those things are right here.

Bedlam

2007-09-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

This summer I made our wonderful volunteer team from Mississippi watch some episodes of The Office. A Benihana Christmas was a group favorite, especially the part where Michael plays the itunes preview for 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt over and over again instead of buying the whole song. The guys asked me if I'd ever heard the entire song, which of course was no because it will take at least ten years for James Blunt to make it to India. Anyway, they played the song for me and it was horrifically tragic--so much that tears started rolling down my face. For some reason no one else seemed as emotionally affected and chose to make fun of me because I actually have feelings. It became the joke of the summer and our group song, which is pretty weird if you don't know the story behind it (hence why I just shared it with you). The guys made this video in honor of me.

The most heartbreaking part is when he sings 'I'm so hollow' (played brilliantly by Wade) over and over again. Cody's Cardinal's t-shirt was also a nice touch. If you have some time today have a moment of silence for James Blunt. Someone messed that dude up bad.

Reflections and Reunions

2007-09-17T21:17:00.000-07:00

I've put off blogging for awhile now, mostly because I'm so far behind and partly because it's lost some of its appeal now that I'm no longer in India. The thought of trying to recap my final days in South Asia and all my travels since is a little daunting because it's such a large task. I hope you'll forgive me for the summaries!

Goodbye to India
Leaving India felt a lot like leaving college. Well, there were some major differences but the same concept of closing a chapter in life was definitely there. It's pretty normal to say things like 'We'll keep in touch' and 'I'll come back and visit,' but the reality is that things change and even if you do keep in touch (a little) and even if you do go back (one day) things will never be the same again. I tried so hard to breathe in those last few days--the smells, the food, the people, all the crazy sights on the side of the road. I think it's really hard to grasp the final days of anything. You feel like you should appreciate everything and make the most of every moment, but I'm starting to wonder whether or not you can actually do that in all it's fullness until it's gone.

Africa
I got to see Abby in Africa! It was so so SO great! Abby and I have never had to rely on our surroundings for entertainment, but nevertheless Africa was the perfect backdrop for our reunion. She was waiting for me with all her Masaai buddies at the airport and I got to live life with her for about ten days. We went to the market, we drank coffee, we watched Seinfeld, we worked out, we spent time with her friends...we also took a mini vacation to Zanzibar with her roommate, Mina. Zanzibar is definitely one of the coolest places I've ever seen. It's such a unique mixture of Muslim and African culture, not to mention it's incredibly beautiful. When I flew out of Tanzania I had the most amazing view of Kilimanjaro from my window. It was breathtaking, rising above the clouds and literally kissing the face of heaven. The plane was full of tourists all scrambling for their cameras and leaning over me to take pictures (which was incredibly annoying). Seriously. Why does anyone think a picture of Kili from an airplane window is worth forfeiting actually sitting and observing it with your own two eyes? Come on people. Google it and find a good aerial picture taken by someone with a better camera than you.

America
I was so nervous when my plane landed in DC. I'm not sure why. Everything felt normal, but strangely unfamiliar at the same time. Or maybe I was just aware that I was the unfamiliar one. That was probably it. I stayed with my cousin Linda one night and Suzanne the other night. It was great fun to hang out with them and ease back into American life in none other than our nation's capital.

Two days after I touched down on the homeland I went to North Carolina to see my boyfriend! Jared and I planned a dramatic airport reunion that ended up not being quite so dramatic since he was waiting for me in the wrong terminal when I arrived:) Even so it was great! He took me to Chik-fil-A and then to his house where I met his parents. The next couple of weeks involved traveling around and visiting all his family and friends throughout the South. Our roadtrip came to an end in Richland, Missouri where I was reunited with my family and friends.

Last week we took a trip down to OBU and I got to hang with the final members of the Fab Five, Megan and Melissa. We also spent some quality time with Steve and Lindsey, our friends from India who now work at OBU. Zip Bang!

Below are some snapshots for your viewing pleasure

Jared is pretty much the best guy in the entire world. Richland is a culture all of it's own and he's adapted well to the town and to my family. Here's how you know you're in Richland, MO.
Toby Keith is quoted at your bible study
Your father's fantasy football team is named the Deep Ozark Mullets
The annual men's campout at your church involves Civil War reenactments

Haha. Richland is awesome. My family is awesome too. I may not live in India anymore, but this place is full of inspiration so there should still be plenty to write about!

Sometimes I worry that India is slipping away from me. When I think about the way I used to live it kind of feels like a dream. There are some things I've carried with me. I move a little slower. I have little interest in technology or watching television. I hate wasting any food. I'm not very attached to stuff anymore and have thrown or given half of what was in my room away.

It's been surprisingly easy to transition back into being American. I've enjoyed feeling productive and accomplishing more than one or two things in a day. I enjoy driving my car and buying all my groceries in one store (although prices are ridiculous). I enjoy not being verbally harrassed by men in tight pants and sweater vests. However, the not so great things about our culture have started to loom over my head as well. In India I never felt self conscious about what I wore or how things fit me or what I looked like. Now that I'm back in this matching, perfectly manicured world where everyone obsesses to be a size 2 I feel that old, ugly pressure again. Where oh where are my voluptuous Bollywood stars? Where are my mismatching hippie clothes? I'd love to stick it to the man (the Western fashion man that is) and parade around in my rainbow socks and salwar pants, but I'm not quite the rebel I thought considering I have a pair of skinny jeans in my closet. At least long shorts are in style, although I'm still having a hard time showing my legs in public.

Beyond the self-image war is the battle within to make something of myself. In India I could sit around with women all day practicing Hindi and throwing orange peels at monkeys. I'm not saying that this was always a satisfying way to spend my time, but I was free of the pressure to prove myself. This was a tough year. I battled giardia several times, a really harsh winter, lots of travel through the mountains, and certain political difficulties in my region. I supervised two volunteer teams and worked on two national trainings. I was in seven countries this year, six in six weeks. I said hello and goodbye to a lot of people. At various times I struggled with restlessness, depression, and boredom. I packed up and moved myself from the Himalayas back to America. I came home a very different person than when I left. I came home to a very different life than I left. So all that to say A LOT has happened, but I still feel guilty taking some time off to rest and unpack my things. I feel like I should be doing more. I feel so far from where I was in India--trekking to villages, spending hours with people talking in their homes, drinking ten cups of chai a day, never wearing a watch or knowing what time or day it was.

I guess the natural thing is to compare one place with another place and one culture with another culture. We piece together different aspects of different places to create the 'ideal' place and culture in our minds, but overall that is pretty pointless because each place is what it is. It's better for me to think about who I want to be where I am now and I'm still trying to figure that out. I'll probably never figure it out though so don't judge me if my clothes don't match. I'm a little confused.

BACK IN AMERICA

2007-08-23T14:55:00.000-07:00

Long time, no blogging. Sorry about that. My mom kindly asked me to update because she was tired of seeing my goat head picture. Anyway, I've lived about ten lives since I left India and maybe I'll get around to posting pictures and telling my stories again. Part of me is tempted to shut down my blog now that I'm back in America, but I'll try to keep it up since there are still some I dearly love who are worlds away (yes, I mean YOU, Apes).

So please be patient with me. Better updates are coming soon! Here's the highlights you can look forward to: final days in India, Africa with Abby, DC with Linda and Suzanne, North Carolina with Jared, my roadtrip through the South, and my homecoming to Missouri! (the latter two haven't happened yet because I'm still in NC). I've met so many great people...and, well, I'm still meeting people right now. It's been a lot of fun.

I have to go now, but check out Alicia's blog because she is much better at updating than me. She can tell you what it's like to come home after two years :)

America is SO clean. I've been drinking a lot of tap water.

2007-07-25T04:51:00.000-07:00

I'm a geographical vegetarian, meaning I don't eat meat in India (with the exception of a few select restaurants). For some reason this is horrifying to a lot of people. They don't understand and usually loudly exclaim something along the lines of 'You don't eat meat?! How do you live?' No offense but please let me break it down for you.

You see, many of you who read this go to the grocery store to get your meat. You push a cart to the frozen food section and pick up your packaged boneless chicken or grade A beef. When I go to buy meat, however, I see this:

Haha...now you all will probably have nightmares. But I thought I'd try to save myself from any more lectures about how unhealthy it is to eliminate meat from my diet. Clearly I'm choosing the lesser of two evils here. This blog is actually way overdue because I'll soon be pushing my own cart to the frozen food section! Boneless frozen chicken. Mesquite lime marinades. Propane grills. Yum...

Six more days left in India. Two more in my city. We're super busy and I'll do my best to post some more lovely pictures in the near future.

Respect the Tag!

2007-07-17T08:42:00.000-07:00

E-Rob recently tagged me and now i'm challenged to list eight random facts about myself. Since I've done this a couple of times it's getting harder to think of random things that meet the criteria I'm looking for. My goal is to list interesting facts and stay away from anything that makes me look like too much of a freak. But I actually enjoy reading other people's lists so much that I'm going to do my best to come up with something good. So, E, I hope I do you justice!

1) I tend to get the dreaded 'Asian face' in photo graphs. It's ok to look Asian if you are, but I'm not. My eyes just get really squinty because they're sensitive to light. If you have a one flash camera don't even try to take a good picture of me.

2) I put purple streaks in my hair in Thailand, but they've mostly faded by now. I was a little bummed about it but then I realized I'll be in America soon meeting a lot of new people. It's probably good I don't have purple hair.

3) My biggest fear in going back to America is that I won't travel again for a really really long time.

4) I've had giardia three times since I came to India from bad water. Americans would save millions on diets if they just came to South Asia and drank tap water.

5) My favorite food is hummus with olive oil and pita bread.

6) I'm not fluent in Hindi, but I randomly substitute Hindi words and phrases for English ones...even when I'm talking to my American friends who live here. I forget English words all the time. No one is going to understand me when I come home.

7) I can never remember what day or time it is. Sometimes I even forget the month. Last year I sent Suzanne a birthday email on July 18th even though her birthday is August 18th. I didn't forget her birthday--I really thought it was August.

8) I'm going to Africa in 11 days

Ok--I actually started this post several days ago (hence the date) and since that time I've almost completely finished packing. If you know me well you realize what a feat this is. I usually pack the night before I go anywhere. Sometimes I wait until the morning I leave. But not this time!

Summer Travels

2007-07-17T04:38:00.000-07:00

I'm back. Wow, I am tired. So much traveling. So much fun. So little sleep. I've posted some pictures to highlight my last couple weeks, but let me tell you a little about all that happened. First I went to Chiang Mai, Thailand for our regional meeting. This was my fourth trip to Thailand and, as usual, it was a great time. After being in the mountains for so long I felt physically, emotionally, and spiritually refreshed. It was so good hanging out with old friends and making new ones. We were in meetings all day long, but we hit the streets at night--eating burgers, shopping, getting pedicures and massages, going to movies, etc... all the normal things that I've come to appreciate once they weren't so 'normal' in my life anymore.

AGM was a good time of closure. I said goodbye to a lot of the people, and after a hectic last day, many of them floated out of my life. It reminded me a little of college graduation actually. Then my gals and I caught a flight to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, where we ate at Chili's (AMAZING) and walked around the Petronas Towers (even more AMAZING). Our final, destination, however was Bali, Indonesia. Bali is like the Hawaii of Asia only less expensive. And, well, it's still Asia so not quite as ritzy but that was ok with us. We were pretty much beach bums most of the time, but we did go see a volcano and do a little shopping. We also stayed in the most amazing villa ever. It had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, a living room, a loft, and a private pool...all for a ridiculously cheap Asian price. It was splendid.

In fifteen days I leave India. There is so much to do and so many people to see. Today I started sorting through my clothes and other various things. I came across my passport and started flipping through it. It's full of India stamps and it makes me sad that after this last stamp I'm not sure when I'll get another one. No more cows on the streets, no more rickshaws, no more crazy Punjabi music, no more men in stone washed jeans with greased back hair, no more eating with my hands, no more listening to Bryan Adams in every restaurant, no more speaking Hindi and broken English, no more pushing and cutting in line, no more power outages, no more chai in people's homes, no more saris and bindis, no more freezing showers...

I guess I'll be thankful to get back to a place where things actually work properly, but there's a fascination and richness about India that you can't find anywhere else. I know I'll miss it. But God willing I'll come back one day, at least to visit. I'm going to leave a blank spot in my passport just in case that day comes sooner rather than later.

Now to give you a taste of how fun it can be to talk to Indians. I went to the post office today to pick up a package from Jared and the post office man made me sign a piece of paper.
Him: Julie, be sure and tell Ronald hello from all of us (my last name is Reagan in case any of you didn't know that).
Me: Well, um, you know he's expired right? (they say expired instead of dead)
Him: Oh no! Oh no! I'm so so very sorry.
Me: Um, thanks. It's ok.
Him: Well, be sure and tell Nancy hello from all of us then.
Me: Ok, ji. I sure will.

HA! I cracked up as I walked out of the office. It was too funny. The poor guy actually thought I was a close relative of Ronald and Nancy Reagan. It was too funny. I'm really going to miss stuff like this.

2007-06-23T20:49:00.000-07:00

We went on a little camping expedition to Chanderthal. Chanderthal literally means 'moon lake' in Hindi and it's one of my favorite places on earth. It takes forever to get there...and that's partly why I love it so much. The lake is a true oasis. You drive through miles and miles of dust and rugged mountains and sort of stumble upon it, clear jewel-like water sitting in the middle of a lunar landscape.

There's not much to do. Most of our group went hiking up to a waterfall, but I chose to stay behind and chill by the lake, reading, writing, and doing my best to enjoy the silence that is nearly impossible to find in India. At night the stars were AMAZING. Emily, Bruce, and I stayed up for a long time watching meteor showers. We tried to convince Anil aliens were landing but he didn't believe us. Then we made up stories about how they were Russian satellites full of classified information. Chanderthal would be the perfect place to hide satellites. No one would ever find them.

Emily and I were quite miserable in our little tent. I was wearing three shirts, a fleece, a heavy jacket, two pairs of socks, trekking pants, and a scarf, hat, and gloves and I still couldn't get warm. I know my friends in Delhi are about to die right now at the thought of wearing so many clothes, but yes, it's late June and we were freezing to death. We finally put my sleeping bag inside of Emily's and both crawled in it together. It was a little cramped and we didn't sleep much but I'm convinced it saved our lives :)

All in all what purpose does beauty serve in our lives? I'm convinced it's there to remind us of what lies beyond--a glimpse of what life was meant to be like and what it will be like when we're fully redeemed. Life freakin' hurts sometimes so I'm thankful that there are some things in this world that point me towards ultimate goodness.

Here are a few pictures from our adventure!

I begin another adventure tomorrow. It's actually going to be a little crazy because I'll be in six different countries in six weeks. First I'm going to Thailand, Malaysia, and Indonesia. Then it's back to India to pack up and say goodbye. On August 1st I'm headed to Africa to reunite with the lovely Abigail Mae after two very long years. Afterwards, my favorite Arab, Suzanne Adel Ammari, will welcome me back to America and we'll hang in DC for a couple of days. Then I'll have two weeks in the grand south with the most wonderful guy in the world--we'll be in the same hemisphere for the first time in over a year. And last but not least I will return to the Midwest and see all my family and friends!!!

So in the middle of all this I will try to update my blog, but the truth is I'm hoping to be close to many of you again in the near future so maybe you won't need this to know what's happening in my life. Here's to hoping...

Fearless

2007-06-21T02:48:00.000-07:00

We're in the midst of the white invasion. More details later, but for now I'll tell you there are a LOT of white people here. And it's fun. Really really fun.

Darr is the Hindi word for fear, and it's threaded throughout the culture here. Animism itself is the belief that things have spirits and some of these spirits are good and others are bad. Life for many revolves around appeasement. Living here has made me evaluate the affect fear has on my own psyche. I don't live with the worry of a curse or a plague--or at least with the worry that it will destroy me. But to call myself fearless? No, I don't have enough faith for that. At least not yet.

"So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance." FDR's 1st inaugural address to a depressed nation is pretty sweet. Fear can cause paralysis. It can make us apathetic. It can make it look like the best thing to do is nothing. Apathy and denial might be less painful than fear, but it's no victory when you lose the ability to feel. On my nobler days I'd rather look that obstacle right in the face and choose to advance--believing that the truth will deliver. Too bad I'm not noble everyday.

For me fear is packaged a little differently than an animistic person. I don't believe that a ritual will save me, but I guess I don't believe in the enlightened uber-man's ability to conquer either. For me it's about a command of my faith. God commands His people not to fear over and over again, and when God speaks I want to listen. It's pretty simple actually. God is consistent, and I need this because I'm completely unable to wake up and shout carpe diem every morning.

So, yeah, the climate of fear in this place has taught me an invaluable amount about human weakness. I choose divine liberation.

picture interlude

I met a guy the other day who said the world is better than it's ever been. It's incrementally getting better as time goes on. He's right, but most people don't realize this since all see on TV and newspapers are things being blown into oblivion. Even so, I don't find the world's snail-like improvement very comforting. For example, in 1977, 41,000 people died each day of hunger worldwide. Ten years later that number declined to 35,000. Today it's down to 24,000 each day, three fourths being children under five. At least it's progress right? The problem is what do you tell people who are starving right now? Well, not quite as many people used to die of hunger. What about the people ten years ago? I'm sorry--you were just born at a crappy time.

I guess the question remains. How do I get my excess food to Africa?

Too Abundant to Handle?

2007-06-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

A few days back my friend from Germany shared some things she's been learning about grace. She does a lot of humanitarian work and has pretty much given her life for the sake of others. Grace could be her middle name. Her confession, however, was that her grace could only reach a certain point. She talked about two friends who had both done terrible things she never thought they could do, and she had no idea how to approach them. The realization was that true grace, grace as it's meant to be, reaches unimaginable depths--almost too abundant to handle.

I listened with great interest to all of this. I've never been an overly legalistic or judgmental person. In fact, you could say I err in the opposite direction and sometimes favor my bleeding heart over principle when I shouldn't. But my friend made me think deeply about the whole subject of grace.

Lately I've read several articles about women in oppressive countries. A large number of women in one particular country actually light themselves on fire and try to commit suicide. They do this to escape abusive marriages that they (for the most part) were forced into. I burn with anger when I read stuff like this. Not only do I desire to see men like this severely punished...I would gladly do it myself. That's a pretty powerful feeling for someone who's largely against capital punishment (I'm sure I'll take some heat for that). Anyway, the point is that I know that my grace, like my friend's, also has limits. I have subconsciously drawn a line in my head and all grace stops there.

"It's scary to love without condition."

Indeed it is. There are certain situations where I wish grace did have conditions, but I only think that because I'm ignorant and completely blind to my own unworthiness, not to mention the power of real love. And less anyone think I want to set all the prisoners free I can assure you I do not. I stongly favor punishment, pre-emptive protection, and rehabilitation. People like the men from the articles I read should be stopped. They should bear the consequences of their actions. I want this to happen. But I don't want to hate them. It's hard for me to believe that God loves them as much as He loves me. It's too abundant for me to handle. Even so, I am thankful there is One who has no limits, who draws no lines, and who is capable of turning the most hopeless situation into something good and beautiful. Anyone who's ever lived in the third world knows that as impossible as this grace may seem to be... it is, in fact, exactly what we need.

The First Goodbye

2007-06-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the first of what will be many goodbyes over the next two months. Two of our friends are moving to Kashmir so we had a party to send them off and wish them well. It was a great time of singing, dancing, and fellowship. Every now and then--amidst the chaos of my daily life--I'm struck with an overwhelming feeling of how rare and special this time has been. I love my friends here so much.

As for other news...we have some groups from America here. Some are trekking out in the mountains and others are doing various volunteer work in our community. It's been fun to hang out with everyone and share this place with them. I even played some basketball a couple days ago with the volunteers. It was team America against team India and I was the ONLY girl out there. I'd normally feel awkward but this time I didn't care because I love basketball and I never get to play. We didn't really keep score but I'm gonna go ahead and say team America won. I didn't leave unscathed, however, and I've included a picture of my jammed wrist all taped up. One of the guys said I looked like a cage fighter.

Back to tearful goodbyes... Jared and I recently talked about how so few relationships remain consistent throughout our entire lives. We're always having to say goodbye to someone and I pretty much hate it. After my college graduation I drove the entire Will Rogers Turnpike with tears running down my face. I thought it would be amazing if my college friends and I all ended up on the same street one day, but deep down I knew it would never happen. We were a passionate group and life quickly pulled us in different directions (and has been stretching us farther and farther ever since). Megan got married and became the marketing director for Giant Partners, a pretty awesome consulting firm. Melissa moved to OKC and now works for T Mobile. Abby moved to San Francisco, then to Hawaii, and finally to Africa. Suzanne got her masters in international development from Cornell and is now working for World Vision in DC. I moved to India. We're all in great places right now, but why do I still feel sad sometimes? Why do I find myself wishing I was back in West U 4 discussing with my friends what jobs we'd give each other if one of us took over the world? I think I'm a sucker for nostalgia.

Anyway, I hate goodbyes, but I can't deny that life is an adventure and continues to get more exciting with each new day. I want to keep moving forward even though it's hard. So, yeah, a lot more goodbyes in the near future for this girl and believe me--I will lament about all of them right here on this blog. For now, in the spirit of moving on, I leave you with these words penned by the brilliant Robert Frost.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

This Week In Pictures

2007-06-02T05:12:00.000-07:00

I had visitors from America, including my parents. I'm so excited they got to see where I live and I think they really liked it in a 'nice place to come once but we don't ever want to live here' kind of way. We had a great time visiting villages and friends in the mountains, as well as some of India's landmarks. Everyone got a little sick, but it wasn't too bad. I actually had to lay down at the Taj Mahal because I thought I was going to throw up and pass out. I don't get embarassed too easily, but how do you bounce back from throwing up all over one of the wonders of the world?

I leave this country in less than two months. I love India. I feel at ease here. Maybe that's why it's time to go. It will be hard, but I guess I'm not too sad. There's something pretty wonderful waiting for me in America.

sun, moon, and stars

2007-05-28T04:14:00.000-07:00

I turned 24 this month. When I was a freshman in college 24 seemed a little old, but it has arrived despite the fact I still look a feel like I'm eighteen. April and Beki came up north to celebrate with us. They're both doing the South Beach diet in a gailant effort to be more healthy...but a low carb diet is not so conducive for mountain life. We ate fried cabbage, green beans with balsamic vinegar and almonds, and 'mashed potatoes' (aka cauliflower that has been pressure cooked to death). I have to be honest and say this wasn't exactly the birthday dinner I dreamed of, but thankfully Beki and April cheated the next day and we ate Emily's delicious cinnamon rolls and enchiladas.

The next day I traveled a rather long distance to Delhi and my friends there took me out to TGI Fridays. I had fajitas and two glasses of iced tea. Alicia also made funfetti cake with cream cheese frosting...so that's what i ate for breakfast the next two mornings. If my eating habits appear to be a little gluttonous I should remind you I spent the week before my birthday sick with giardia so I'm making up for lost time.

I felt so loved and cared for on my birthday. My friends came to visit me. My other friends took me out to dinner. Jared sent me roses. I got to spend a great afternoon with Jonathan, Kelley, and Kiran. My parents arrived shortly after all that. What more can you ask for?

I'm happy to be in my mid-twenties. Age can seem a little scary when you're young, but I've realized the older I get the more at peace I am with myself. There are many things about me that I wish I could change and many things I feel insecure about. BUT the people I admire the most are the ones who are steadfast and gentle and not afraid or hindered by their imperfections. I think I disagree with Goethe...to cease striving is not the ultimate sin. Sometimes it's the very best thing we can do...especially if we're striving after the wrong things.

April and I went to the World Peace Cafe (I know...I live in a hippie town) the day before my birthday. We ate hummus and salad and read Oswald Chambers. That particular devotion was about the sun and the moon and the stars and how they simply exist. They never try to be anything besides what they are or do anything besides what they're meant to do. They don't have to prove their usefulness. In the same way wise people know that value and purpose and worth are not things to be sought after. Nor do they diminsh with age, scars, failure, or disappointment. Our value is a gift, not debatable or earned, and our acceptance of it has the power to touch the world. This was the perfect thing for me to reflect on as I turned 24. In fact, it fondly reminded me of a song my friend, Ryan, wrote in college, which is what I'll leave you with.

You don't know how lovely, how lovely you are. You're like the sun and the moon and the stars. You don't know lovely, how lovely you are. How lovely you are.

Real Men of Genius (India)

2007-05-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

I'm a blogging machine these days! Of course, there's been a lack of substance in many of my posts and this one is no exception. April and I have a very sophisticated sense of humor. We're big fans of Bud Light's Real Men of Genius commercials. They honor men such as Mr. Foam Finger Inventor Guy and Mr. Way too Proud of Texas Guy. Last month during our travels we decided that Bud Light could easily do a Real Men of Genius series in India. I'm convinced there are at least twice as many men as women in this country and we, being foreign girls, encounter the good and the bad on a daily basis. So here's a list of the men who inspire us...

Mr. Pink Sparkly Sweater Wearer Guy
Mr. Knock You Off Your Feet Cologne Wearer Guy
Mr. Crazy Dance Up In Your Face Punjabi Guy
Mr. Matching Polo and Turban Golf Guy
Mr. Grab Your Leg Without Asking Cooley Guy
Mr. Pimped Out Auto Rickshaw Driver Guy
Mr. Your Wall Is My Toilet Guy
Mr. Yell At You From a Taxi Full of My Friends Guy
Mr. Roadside Water Pump Bather Guy
Mr. Hey I'm Hot but Then I Blew a Snot Rocket in Front of You Guy
Mr. Randomly Hock a Loogey and Spit Near Your Feet Guy
Mr. Britney Spears T-Shirt Wearer Guy
Mr. Over-Zealous Text Messenger Guy
Mr. I Will Change My Mobile Plan if You Call Me One More Time Guy
Mr. Titantic Theme Song Mobile Ring Guy
Mr. Stinky Sleep in the Taxi Guy
Mr. My Wife's Brother's Uncle's Son's Friend Lives in America Guy
Mr. Pastels Are So Hot Right Now Guy
Mr. Honk at You 12 Times As I Pass You On the Cliff Tata Truck Guy
Mr. Keeps Trying to Arrange Your Marriage With His Son Guy

There you have it. I will strive for more substantial blogs in the near future, but I'm sure any girl who's ever lived in India will appreciate this list. And please feel free to add your own Real Men of Genius!

May Love

2007-05-10T04:01:00.000-07:00

I have giardia. At least I think I do. I haven't been to the hospital yet. The last time I went to the hospital I was there all day and they filed me as being American Samoan. Giardia is a gross, gross thing. That's why I've posted some lovely pictures of the blooming flowers and cherry trees up here in the mountains. I need a little beauty to combat this terrible parasite!

The end is drawing near for India and Julie. We've been together for almost two years now and in three months we'll say goodbye. I just purchased my ticket today. I leave August 1st and head to Africa to see my most wonderful amiga, Abigail, for about ten days. Then I'm homeward bound, but not without a stop in North Carolina to see my most wonderful boyfriend, Jared. He wanted me to write a blog about North Carolina, but the sad reality is that I've never been there. I've never been anywhere in the South. I know it must be a great state so I want to do it justice. Thanks to the internet I know a lot more about The Tar Heel State than I did fifteen minutes ago. Here are my favorite North Carolina facts:

In 1903 the Wright Brothers made the first successful powered flight by man at Kill Devil Hill near Kitty Hawk. The Wright Memorial at Kitty Hawks now commemorates their achievement.

High Point is known as the Furniture Capital of the World. (High Point is also Jared's hometown)

The University of North Carolina's mascot, the Tarheels, is a nickname for North Carolinians that supposedly came from the days when NC produced a lot of tar, and someone saw a set of footprints made by someone who had stepped in the tar.

Krispy Kreme Doughnut was founded in Winston-Salem.

The first miniature golf course was built in Fayetteville.

Babe Ruth hit his first home run in Fayetteville on March 7, 1914.

Arnold Palmer recognized as the player whose aggressive play and winning personality raised golf to national attention, honed his skills on the championship golf team of Wake Forest University.

The first English colony in America was located on Roanoke Island. Walter Raleigh founded it. The colony mysteriously vanished with no trace except for the word "Croatoan" scrawled on a nearby tree.

So, there you go. Soon I'll find out if North Carolina is as great as these facts make it appear to be. It's hard to believe my time here will end in less than three months, but it's exciting to look ahead! I have much to look forward to after my exodus of India...and hopefully my parasite won't come with me.

7 Facts About Me!

2007-05-09T00:44:00.000-07:00

My friend, Kelley, tagged me awhile ago to list 7 random facts/habits about myself. I've been meaning to do it and we just got our wireless up and running today (yay!) so now is the time. Here are 7 facts about me. I'm sure you'll find yourself blessed to know all these things.

1) I've recently come to appreciate Chinese films, the ones with all the kung fu fighting. They're pretty cool to watch and if you're interested I'm more than willing to recommend my favorites.

2) I have a red scar on my upper chest, which came as a result of a bad sunburn in high school. I used to tell people it was a mosquito bite but then it never went away. People still ask all the time so now I'm letting you know...it's a scar.

3) One time I met the Hungarian prime minister in the US Capitol building. I have no idea what his name was. He probably isn't the prime minister anymore.

4) In high school my friends, Sam, Shannon, Kevin, Paul, and I tried to catch a wild emu that was running around our school. We got close and then it flared up and went crazy and almost ate Paul. It was scary.

5) I cried at the first Dave Matthews concert I went to. He played Crush, which was my favorite song at the time. I wasn't ashamed. It was beautiful.

6) My friend, Jessica, and I met John Ashcroft once standing outside a building. He shook our hands and introduced himself. Then Jessica walked right into a door. She was pretty embarrassed, but man, it was hilarious!

7) I have a fake marlin named Edgar hanging on the wall of my parents' basement. He's a model of a real marlin I caught but I put that marlin back in the ocean. I try to be humane to animals.

Well, that wraps it up! I will try to post something more interesting soon. Maybe tomorrow. We shall see...

Mountains, Golf, Wild Boar, and Throat Singing

2007-04-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

My friend, April, had a research project in some of the surrounding districts and I went along to help her out. Our excursion began with me stumbling around in the dark at 4 AM because we had no power...and somehow I got myself in a taxi and rolled into her city a few hours later. Not to brag or anything, but we're hardcore. We spent hours upon hours traveling to the ends of the earth on roads that resembled little more than mere trekking trails. I must say it was pretty rewarding to visit places few will ever know exist. It also felt like I was seeing the mountains for the first time--you would think it's impossible to take the Himalayas for granted but sometimes I do--but really, they're the Himalayas!

Now north India is a pretty weird place but even we were caught off guard by a mysterious animal...
April: What is that? It looks like a cross between a yak and a horse.
Me: It's a yorse!
April: A yorse?
Me: Half yak and half horse.
April: Like a merlion?
Me: Exactly like a merlion (may only make sense if you've been to Singapore)

Sadly, the picture turned out really blurry so I can't show you the mysterious animal. But, yes, I will do some research on google and find out if it's possible for yaks to breed with horses. I'll let you know.

After April finished her research we headed down south to visit our friends, Kyle, Ryan, and Brandon, and pick up my computer. The boys graciously replaced my hard drive with one that is much bigger than my old one. They also took us to play golf, which was really fun and I only slightly cared about my wicked slice. We went to see the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and were so nostalgic for our childhood that I even found the Vanilla Ice Ninja Rap from the second movie on Youtube and made everyone watch it. Our weekend was complete with a feast of wild boar. I'm not even kidding. The boys got it from their landlord and apparently it's illegal to hunt or something (so don't tell). Anyway, Brandon marinated it in a fine red wine vinegar and papaya mixture. After about two frustrating hours Kyle and Ryan hunted down coal and got the grill to work. It was pretty tasty.

Right now I'm listening to a Tibetan throat singer named Kongar ol-Ondar. He's from this place called Tuva and his album is called Back Tuva Future, which I think is the greatest thing ever. Throat singing is fascinating, although a little creepy to listen to, but the best part is that Willie Nelson is a guest performer on his album. Now that, my friends, makes it all better! Ok, enough updating...it took me forever to post these pictures so you better enjoy them!

We'll Carry On

2007-04-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Here's a blog with no pictures for you. I'm a terrible updater these days. My computer crashed. My internet fails me all the time. Heck, I actually got busy too. In fact, April and I embark on another crazy adventure in four and a half hours. It involves two hill stations, a billion hours in a taxi, picking up my sad computer, and hopefully some golf.

We'll carry on,
We'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone believe me
Your memory will carry on

I've been walking a crazy road for awhile. It twists and turns and sometimes goes in circles. It kind of seems like things are falling from the sky too...trying to knock me over. But I'm still here. I read bible verses and Augustine quotes. I scribble them on pieces of paper. I plaster them on walls. It's not an instant fix, but more of a reminder of why I should keep going. I wish I came from a culture that valued patience and waiting and silence and faith. I profess to desire these virtues, but behind closed doors I prefer lightning miracles and swallowing pills to the slow burn. And I'd definitely use a microwave if we had one.

There's something slightly glamorous about trials and fire. Still, I think most would welcome any trial except the one they've been given. I guess there are some extremes, but excluding those I do find myself thinking 'anything but this.' 'this' is what it is, however, and I'll keep going and somehow learn to be thankful and quit demanding a lightning miracle. Mountain life is slow. You'd think I would've learned by now.

I should stick to pictures.

We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches on

Family Euro Trip

2007-03-31T02:46:00.000-07:00

Now for your viewing pleasure...my Italian slideshow! I recently returned from my family vacation, but we have no internet these days so I'm at an internet cafe right now. I apologize for the delay in updating my blog...but what can you do?

Anyway, it was pretty much the best time ever. My family and best friend, Suzanne, are the greatest. It was completely normal to be with everyone again after a year and a half. Well, as normal as normal gets with this crew. Here's a summary of what we did.
16th--arrival in Roma. I meet Suz at the airport and everyone else comes a few hours later. Our hotel isn't ready so we walk to the Spanish Steps and then to a park. We lie down by this tree and listen to music for a long time. Once everyone is reunited we go out to a nice dinner. My emo brother's suitcase didn't arrive and my dad decides we need to take him shopping. It was like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy...a lot of fun except John insists on wearing ridiculously tight pants. Dinner is really great that night. Actually, it was great every night--we debated politics, theology, and social issues. Fun times with my Ivy League best friend and Rush Limbaugh loving father.
17th--Trevi Fountain, Pantheon,Piazza Navona, Colosseum, Roman Forum, and Roman bathouses. By the end of the day my dad is complaining that he's walking on two bloody stumps.
18th--Museum of Modern Art. It was pretty cool, but my family is not that appreciative of modern art. My dad's favorite was a canvas with three slashes because it made him feel like he could be an artist too. We ate some amazing gelati that day and went shopping.
19th--The Vatican. The museums were closed so we went inside St. Peter's Basilica and walked up the Cupola (the dome). It was an awesome view of the city! We also saw the Pieta inside and the tombs of the popes, including John Paul II and the apostle Peter's tomb.
20th--tour of the Vatican museums. Probably my favorite day. We got to see Raphael's School of Athens and of course the Sistine Chapel. It started raining and hailing and we couldn't get a cab so we walked back to our hotel. Then we went to the train station and headed to Florence!
21st--Uffizi Art Gallery and dinner with Ed. Ed was my uncle's best friend growing up and my mom's high school crush. Now he lives in Italy. Dinner with Ed was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. The restaurant was great. Nice and artsy with live jazz.
22nd--Pisa and Siena. A great drive through Tuscany.
23rd--tour of Florence with Luca. We went to some old churches, the duomo, a leather workshop, a market, and most importantly the Gallery Accademia to see Michelangelo's David in all his glory. Impressive!
24th--train back to Rome. One last dinner together. Sad!
25th--everyone goes their separate ways. I fly Qatar Airways back to India and it was the nicest airline I've ever been on. The airport in Doha even has free internet access! No hummus though...but they did have an A&W.
26th--I arrive in Delhi at 5:30 in the morning.

So, Italy is definitely up there with the coolest places I've ever been to. I hope you all get to go one day. Now that I'm back in India there's much to do and no internet at our house. I'll do my best to update this blog but it might be awhile.

Until then...Ciao!

She's Only Happy In the Sun

2007-03-09T23:58:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. It's been forever. And I'm sorry, but you don't understand. We're living like pioneers these days. Snow came to our little town in full force resulting in fickle electricity and even more fickle internet access. But before I go into that let me share with you a couple pics of life before the snow. Emily and I were in Delhi attending a meeting and we got to enjoy quality time with some of our dearest friends. It was kind of a sad time because we had to say goodbye to Karen who recently moved back to America. There aren't really words to describe Karen or what a joy it is to have her as a friend. Sometimes words aren't enough. So all I will say is that we miss you already Karen and it just isn't the same here without you.

Now for the snow. While in Delhi we got word that there was a major snowstorm up in the mountains and we may not make it home. What did we do? Well, we decided to try and get home anyways. Emily's friends, Erin and Janae, were visiting from America and two of our other friends, Paul and John, were also with us--so the six of us began the LONG journey back to the Himalayas. It took about 24 hours. We took two buses and a taxi and then got stuck about two kilometers outside our town in some wicked traffic. After waiting for an hour Paul and I took some of our things and began trekking to town. The others waited awhile longer and then got horses to haul the rest of our luggage to our house. It was like a virtual reality game...only not virtual. Dodge all the donkeys, cows, and horses. Try not to fall over when Indian men throw snowballs at you. Strategically step on pieces of ice so you don't sink four feet into the snow. And when you finally get home guess what? No power! The power was out for four days, but thankfully we missed three of them. We wrapped up in fleece and sat next to the gas heater. We lit candles. We made pancakes in the dark. We finally got power back later that night!

It was good to just hang out for a few days. We played cards and watched The Office. Our local friends came over to hang out so we made Indian food and learned some local dances. We also celebrated Emily's 25th birthday with cinnamon rolls and more of The Office. I got her the third season...now that is the gift that keeps on giving. All our friends are gone now and we're currently in the middle of another snowstorm. I go on vacation in a few days so I'm wondering how the heck I'm gonna get out of here.

Here's a conversation Emily and I had this afternoon.
Emily: I think I might take a shower
Julie: I took one the day before yesterday
Emily: I think the last time I took one was Wednesday
Julie: Well, I want to take one tomorrow too and I don't want to take one both days
Emily: Yeah, you should wait. Well, you might not want to wait because the electricity could go out and you wouldn't have hot water.
Julie: I think I'll wait. If it goes out I just won't take one at all.

I promise I won't be this gross when I come back to America.

It's been an adventurous winter, but I'm looking forward to summertime (I'm not sure we get a spring up here). Five months of fleece and wool socks and topis and mufflers... Please come quickly sunshine!

Did you find what you were after?
The pain and the laughter brought you to your knees
But if the sun sets you free, sets you free
You'll be free indeed, Indeed

She's only happy in the sun
She's only happy in the sun
--Ben Harper

SHIA LAAGA!!!

2007-02-15T23:53:00.000-08:00

Shia laaga means 'it's cold' in the local language. Our first real snow came this week...better late than never! Shia laaga sort of became our battle cry. It's pretty fun to yell at the top of your lungs. Emily, Brian, and I spent the week helping our local friends write cultural songs. If you know me at all then you know I'm not the most musical person in the world so it was a learning experience for me. What I realized is that it doesn't matter how gifted you are. Music has the power to touch anyone's soul, and even more so if it's in their heart language. That's the main thing we tried to teach our friends. They can learn songs in English, Hindi, Urdu, whatever...but why not write them in the language they grew up speaking? The local language is oral so it was a bit of a challenge at first--especially since our friends are not experienced musicians. BUT they did so great! They recorded eight tracks and it was the first time for these kinds of songs to be recorded in this language.

We also had a quite a bit of fun. I taught the guys how to rap (thanks to DC Talk and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air). We tried some local dancing and the electric slide and one night Kewal and I performed a great duet to Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. The best day, however, was our field trip day. We went skiing up in the mountain. It was my first time and I had a blast! There are no lifts here so you have to talk up the mountain and ski down, which is a lot of work for a high maintenance American but it was still really fun. We also had a huge snowball fight and slid down icy hills in inner tubes. Man, India is a great place. Where else can you do all this while dodging yaks and men in fur coats and colored snowsuits? Anyway, pictures are below!

Happy Birthday John John!

2007-02-11T06:21:00.000-08:00

I bet you didn't realize today was a special day. Indeed it is. On this day 21 years ago the elusive John John graced the world with his presence. I think it's safe to say life has never been the same for anyone since. John's gift to the world is his infamous 'let it happen' philosophy. He breezes through the trials of life with such flair that it makes one wonder if stress is merely a self-induced illusion. John recently joined a new band but thankfully he is taking a vacation to see his poor half frozen sister before he heads to LA.

My dad's birthday was last week as well. Pictured above is his recent triumph, the Cabbie Cup. The Cabbie Cup is a golf tournament he started with his friends. Every year they go down to Florida and battle it out on the links (all that's missing is war paint and spears). My dad has kept a spot open on our mantle for awhile now and this year he finally brought home the trophy. Way to go Dad! He swears the Cabbie Cup will one day become the next Ryder Cup. We shall see.

In exactly one month and five days is my long awaited family reunion! My parents, John John, and Suzanne will all meet me in Rome. Can't hardly wait!

..and things just get weirder

2007-02-06T10:18:00.000-08:00

Today Emily and I were having lunch in a local restaurant with Brian, our friend from south India. The Frenchman (who's really a Sicilian with a fake British passport) walked in drunk as ever. The three of us were in a deep conversation but out of the corner of my eye I saw the Frenchman stick a pistol down his pants. I was about to say something when all of a sudden he pulls it out and points it directly at Brian's head. We now all have an answer to the question 'What would you do if someone points a gun at you?' The answer is sit there...in silence...not making any sudden movements. The Frenchman laughed and called us 'good people' and walked away. Then the waiter told us not to be alarmed and that the pistol was a fake. Sure enough the Frenchman pointed the 'gun' at a window and pulled the trigger. The result was nothing more than a soft pop. But, yeah, for a few moments we were pretty freaked out. We didn't even laugh about it later--just agreed that you can't buy memories like these. But then again, who wants to? Not this girl. Excessive alcohol and weapons (real or fake) do NOT go together.

As for other things...I missed the Super Bowl. I'm always a little sad when I miss a championship event. But thanks to Jared's generous itunes gift I was able to watch all the BCS games! Anyway, here's a picture from the last Super Bowl party I went to. Two years ago. Senior year at OBU. Megan, Mel, me, and Mo all in Nate's apartment. I think this was taken right before Mo spilled her Sonic drink all over me. Good times.

...and finally. Tonight as I turned on my computer I found this horrific thing on my desktop background. James, don't be a hater because I'm more photogenic than you, you tool.

Shaadi No. 5

2007-01-28T07:18:00.000-08:00

I'm continuing my wedding tour of north India. This weekend Emily and I went to our friend Pooja's wedding. Since this is my fifth wedding I've learned a thing or two. The first thing is that you can, in fact, say no to certain things. Indians are quite welcoming and affirming people. 'Julie come meet my cousin.' 'Julie take a snap with me.' Julie you are looking so beautiful in Indian dress.' These are all good things. However, being the center of attention has its downside. No, I don't want to eat five meals or drink eight cups of chai. No, I don't want to dance in the middle of Indian men. No, I'm not bored...I just don't want to talk without ceasing. Once I learned that the Indian-foreigner relationship is not a master-slave relationship weddings became much more enjoyable.

I also have three key groups I look for to socialize with at weddings. Kids, old people, and servants. Everyone else is too busy running all over the place so these groups are the most available. Kids are great. They're usually bored at weddings so you can talk to them about school and pop music. They always have lots of questions about American too. Old people in India are the cutest people on earth! Sometimes they wear thick black glasses and that makes them even cuter. You can just sit with them and they smile and tell you how beautiful you are. They don't care if you talk or not and they always want to take a picture with you. Finally, servants are fun because they don't expect you to talk to them. They're a little shy but always so excited when you ask their names or anything else about them. Most of the servants are ignored or bossed around and no one ever says thank you so it's a great joy to be the one person who talks to them in a respectful and personal way.

Overall, I'm always a little drained after weddings. My feet hurt from standing in heels, my stomach hurts from having to eat too much, and usually my back hurts because I've slept in a bed with ten other people. I'm tired from walking around and constantly repeating the phrase 'you look SO beautiful' (sometimes more than once to the same person since the women change at least five times throughout the day), and at some point I always get pinned against a wall in a crowded room and can't breathe. BUT, how can I complain? Indians are great. All you do is show up and apprectiate their culture and they love you and think of you as family. While I'm thankful American weddings last a mere hour, it's pretty special when you enter a home full of people you don't know and when it's all over you've touched most of them in some way (whether they sat on you or hugged you). It's a beautiful thing.

Just another day...

2007-01-20T11:38:00.000-08:00

April and I are currently huddled under my blankets. It's been another great day in our frozen abode and I just thought I'd share the details with you.

Today we ate lunch at this German bakery. Two Himalayan ski instructors sat with us and told us all about a special program they do for local kids. They take them up to this mountain and teach them how to ski and snowboard. Apparently, our friend, Himanchu, is quite the instructor. He's lived in Switzerland and travels all the time to Finland, France, and other places. I told him I wanted to go to Norway and he said he was friends with the Norweigian Olympic team and could hook me up if I ever went there. I happen to have ten vacation days left and could totally spend them in Norway hanging with the Olympic team! Anyway, Himanchu and Peter invited us up to their mountain to learn to ski, but we decided to stay and eat pizza. They shrugged and said, 'Ok. Come some other time. We're going to go smoke dope. Do you want to smoke with us?' We were like, 'No thanks.' I tried to tell Himanchu that smoking was bad for him but he responded with the fact that sugar and coffee are also unhealthy. So on his way out I told him, 'Don't smoke too much. We don't want you to get the black lung.' Haha...I love incorporating Zoolander terminology into my everyday speech here.

THEN, April, Emily, and I found some APPY in our favorite import store! I tried Appy for the first time in Dharamshala and was instantly hooked...however, I could never find it here until today. Appy is really just fizzy apple juice but it tastes pretty amazing.

Tonight April's sister, Tonya, taught me ballroom dancing. I learned steps for the foxtrot, waltz, tango, and salsa.

That's pretty much all that happened today. Right now it sounds like a wild dog fight is going on outside...and it probably is. I'm going to try and sleep anyway. Goodnight everyone. Be sure to limit your dope use and avoid the black lung.

My Travel Log

2007-01-12T23:17:00.001-08:00

I hope you enjoy my Singapore slideshow. So what does it take to travel on this side of the world? Well, let me tell you!

December 25th--Hop in a taxi with Kyle and Melissa and travel eight hours to Chandigarh. Sleep for about five hours.
December 26th--Early morning train to Delhi. Wait forever for a prepaid auto to East Delhi. After much difficulty Alicia and I get a taxi and go eat lunch at Papa John's. Then we head to Khan Market for Christmas shopping and to the hospital for my doctor's appointment. We leave the hospital and head directly to the airport where our flight is delayed...and delayed...and cancelled! We go back through immigration into India and Thai Air puts us in the Hyatt for the night. Not too shabby.
December 27th--Fly to Bangkok in the morning. Miss our connecting flight to Singapore and Thai Air won't compensate us. Jerks. The next flight we can take is early the next morning. We're on our own to find a hotel which is next to impossible since no one speaks English. We finally find one near the airport and then decide to go to the Siam Center and eat at the Outback. We can't find the Outback and I have a nervous breakdown because I think I'm going crazy. The Outback didn't disappear, however, it just moved around the corner. After an awesome blossom we feel much better.
December 28th--We finally fly to Singapore and arrive at 10:30 AM. Chesi and Rob were waiting for us in the wrong terminal and by the time they find us we have to rush off to Chesi's doctor appointment. Afterwards we go to a pottery barn and, of course, Starbucks. Later that night we go watch a Chinese movie that Chesi and Rob don't like but I think it's pretty cool.
December 29th-31st--Good times in Singapore
January 1st--We say tearful goodbyes in Singapore and fly back to Bangkok. Alicia drops the vase she bought on the ground and breaks it. I panic for about three minutes when I can't find my boarding pass or passport and imagine my life being like Tom Hanks in The Terminal. Fortunately, Alicia has it although neither of us could remember how she got it. We look everywhere for Burger King but can't ever find it so we eat pad thai instead. We fly out to Chiang Mai that night and have a meeting as soon as we get there.
Jan 2nd-4th--Meetings in Thailand. Alicia loses her passport for real and has to spend a whole day at the consulate. She is currently still in Thailand waiting for her visa.
Jan 5th--I travel from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and have an 8 hour layover by myself at the airport. This time I find Burger King. I also meet an Austrailian girl named Christy who works for the UN in Cambodia. We talk for several hours and then she flies to Sydney and I fly to Delhi. When I get to Delhi my bag is one of the last of the plane and then I get in a taxi and go to my friend, Lindsey's, house.
Jan 6th--Lindsey and I go to the dentist and then I'm sent to this random place in Defence Colony for a head x-ray. Some guy makes me bite down on plastic and tells me to close my eyes so the lasers won't burn them.
Jan 7th--I stay in Lindsey's house all day because I'm exhausted and don't want to go anywhere.
Jan 8th--My follow up appointment at the hospital. The broken blood vessels in my leg have faded a little. Yay! Hopefully I won't be scarred for life. Emily, Lindsey, John, and I have lunch at Bennigans and go watch Babel. The movie makes us feel bad about life.
Jan 9th--follow up dentist appointment and meeting. Then Emily and I get on the overnight bus. It's really cold and I can't sleep. The one time I fall asleep the guy next to me wakes me up by playing Hotel California on his radio.
Jan 10th--Arrive home early morning.

A very Himalayan Christmas

2007-01-11T05:47:00.000-08:00

I'm back...finally! Since I last wrote on here I've been in Delhi, Bangkok, Singapore, and Chiang Mai. That means I have lots of pictures to share, but let's start with Christmas...

Here I am playing Uno with the Sharmas, our landlords. They came to our house for a Christmas party and it was great fun for everyone. I dominated in Uno. Of course, it was the first time everyone else had ever played but I don't believe in letting people win.

The day after our party the rest of our team came! We made a lot of really great food, watched Christmas movies, and sang a lot of Christmas songs. We also had a Jesse Tree ceremony, which was part of my countdown during the Advent season. Pictured above is April and me by our lovely leaning Christmas tree. Don't we look festive?

Here's a nice shot of everyone on Christmas morning. Could we be wearing anymore clothes? I don't think so. It was a little bit chilly, but delightful nonetheless.

You might be impressed to know that six single people can make quite the Christmas dinner even though we live out in the middle of nowhere. Kyle even found turkey. The rest of our menu included dressing (not stuffing), broccoli and cheese casserole, sweet potato pie, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, and way too many desserts.

Well this is a very general and unoriginal post but it's hard to write about things that happened several weeks ago with the same zeal I usually have. Christmas is a beautiful time of year though. I'm sorry it's over. I'm also sorry that people have tried to make it a winter festival or a happy holiday or about family and friends. Why celebrate something earthly and temporal and imperfect when you can celebrate something divine?

O come, Desire of nations, bind

In one the hearts of all mankind;

Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,

And be Thyself our King of peace.

Untitled

2006-12-20T05:08:00.000-08:00

Can you believe Christmas is almost here? I can't. Things have been scattered and random, but I've had some of the sweetest times with friends here. I'd like to tell you about some of my friends in the mountains.

Dixika--She was the first real friend I made in this town, but she got a job that requires her to travel all the time. I'd almost given up on ever seeing her again...and then a beautiful thing happened. I was on my way to the bazaar, looking down, listening to music, and when I looked up she was right in front me with a huge smile on her face. The next day I was at her house for lunch and it was the best time. She even gave me New Year's card. It has a scary picture of the Hindu goddess, Durga, on it but I didn't care. We're friends again!

Nitu--She owns a beauty parlor. I used to teach her English in her shop and then we'd have lunch and she'd never let me pay for it. She had a lot of financial problems for awhile but when I took her a Christmas present a few days back she seemed on top of the world so things must be better. Nitu has an attitude. It's fun--she gets this little smirk on her face and moves her head from side to side. She also has a big heart. I went with her to visit her grandmother in the hospital one day and it was really moving to be there with her family during that time. Her grandmother is at home now.

Jimmy--He works at a cafe I really like. He always knows what I want when I come in. Jimmy is a very talented artist and shows me his notebook with all his drawings. He also loves music and is on a deep quest for truth. Jimmy is very quiet, but once he trusts you he never stops talking. We have great conversations, and I always walk away with my mind full and a twinge of sadness in my heart. I want my friend to find what he is looking for.

Jessie--She owns the shop below Nitu's. She has smile that lights up the room, but it's easy to tell she is lonely. Jessie confides a lot in me and I don't always know what to say to her. Mostly we listen to each other for a long time and then find something to laugh about. Jessie is really pretty. She could be in a Bollywood movie but she wouldn't believe me if I told her that. I think I'll tell her anyway.

Sunita--She owns a shop on the road to my house. I think she will start teaching me Hindi next month. Her English is really good and her laugh sounds like bells. Usually she sits outside her shop in the sun and knits or talks to people. One day it was cold and rainy so she invited me inside and gave me black tea. You know how you just feel peace when you meet certain people? That's how I felt when I met Sunita.

Kamal--He works in a travel shop next to Sunita. He's from a nearby village and always offers to give me a ride home on his motorcycle. I always tell him I want to walk. He has shy eyes and a really good spirit. I don't usually talk much to men here, but I always feel at ease around Kamal. He is polite and sincere.

There are others I could talk about. Maybe I will get to them later, but I think this is good for now. It's amazing how community can give you a sense of belonging somewhere. The other day I walked home after talking with Jimmy and really felt like this was my town. I have friends. I have a computer guy. I have a tailor. I have grocery guy and a jewelry guy and a guy I buy books from. I know the Airtel people, the police officers, the doctors, and most of the restaurant owners. This is my town. And it's great.

Well, now that I've said all that I've posted some pictures below. We had a cool friend come into town to help us with some things and we went hiking one day. It was wonderful, but what's new? Hiking here is always great. Tonight some kids we love came to watch a movie at our house and our landlord's family is coming over tomorrow. THEN, our team is coming for Christmas. AND THEN, I will be reunited with two dear friends in Singapore. I feel completely joyous right now...and tired. I've been told about 20 times this week that I 'look weak' and should 'take rest.' I also broke my capillaries...I know...you're thinking, 'what are you talking about?' Well, I sat too close to my heater and the blood vessels in my leg are inflamed or something. I'm not sure when they will get back to normal, but I sure miss the days of central heating.

On Writing

2006-12-16T01:22:00.000-08:00

Our friend, Hiralal just got engaged to a beautiful Korean woman, and we were able to attend his engagement party. He's going to move up north at the beginning of next year. Hiralal is a like a brother to us so we're going to miss him, but it's exciting to see him headed towards this new stage of life.

This has been a jam packed emotional week. So much has happened, and yet, I can't really find the words to tell any of the stories. Maybe they will come later. But, I have been reading this great book by Stephen King titled 'On Writing.' It's kind of a memoir of how he became a writer, and I'm finding it to be very compelling. Writing is something I've loved my whole life, but it's been a struggle for me in recent years. I think I used to be good at it. In 3rd grade I wrote a poem that won first prize in the Tri-County language arts competition. After that I wrote my first book about elves. It had five chapters. I wrote plays, poetic anthologies, book reviews, short stories, and summaries for the books I would one day write. My freshman English teacher told me she couldn't wait to have me in junior English. My English composition professor at OBU used to write 'Please consider changing your major to English' on all of my papers.

But something happened. Somehow in college I became fiercely private about my writing. I began to doubt my ability and was fearful of the vulnerability that came with it. I still wrote--yearbook articles, history papers, financial reports, an occasional journal entry...but I didn't feel passionate about it. Now that I'm reading this book it makes me wonder if I can ever feel that passion again. Along with that...can I get beyond caring about criticism? Can I find the patience to put my thoughts into words and form them in an artistic way? Can I share those words with those around me? Or let the person I really care about deeper into the way I think? I want to. Maybe I will try. I'll let you know how it goes. Until then I thought I'd end this post with a list of some of the books that have impacted my life.

1. One book that changed your life: The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

2. One book that you’ve read more than once: The Diary of Anne Frank. My grandfather gave this book to me when I was young and I read it over and over again. I thought Anne Frank looked like me only with bigger eyebrows.

3. One book you’d want on a deserted island: Ulysses by James Joyce. Apparently it's one of the greatest literary works of all time, but I can never seem to get past the first page. A desert island might be the only way I'll actually read it.

4. One book that made you laugh: A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. What a wonderful book! I could almost hear Owen's voice in my ear. I laughed and cried a lot reading this one.

5. One book that made you cry: Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe. Wow, this book is powerful.

6. One book you wish you had written: The Great Divorce by CS Lewis. What I wouldn't give to have the persepctive illustrated in this book.

7. One book you wish had never been written: Um, I hate to say that any book shouldn't be written. One book I did not enjoy reading was Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. The details and descriptions were amazing, but this book thoroughly depressed me for days. I guess I'm glad it was written but wish I'd never read it myself.

8. One book you’re currently reading: On Writing by Stephen King and trying to finish The Castle by Franz Kafka. The Castle is strange, interesting, and requires a certain kind of mood to enjoy. You were one weird man, Mr. Kafka!

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: There's a long list but I'll probably start reading A Farewell to Arms by Hemingway next.

Engagement

2006-12-10T04:08:00.000-08:00

Today we went to my friend, Ruchi's, engagement. Ruchi is our landlord's sister-in-law, and I met her at the wedding I attended in September. This was Emily's first time to meet this side of the family and it was a lot of fun. The day was cold and dreary but we bundled up and took a bus out to their village. One of the traditions here is dham, which is eating on the ground in lines facing each other. Instead of plates they give you giant leaves and men walk by dumping rice, rajma, dal, paneer, and other things on your leaf while you try to keep up eating with your hand. I'm a big fan of dham because it makes me feel earthy, like I'd never need to bring utensils with me on a camping trip. After dham we warmed ourselves by the tandoor (indoor wood furnace) and then watched the engagement ceremony. Ruchi, of course, looked beautiful and she seemed very excited to get married. The pundits (Hindu priests) performed the ceremony and everyone went by afterwards to give their blessings to the couple. What typically happens in an arranged Hindu marriage is that the families express interest to each other for a union and then take their children's astrological charts to the pundits. The pundits have to match a variety of different things to determine whether or not the couple should be married. Afterwards, there is an engagement ceremony and exchanging of rings. The date for the actual marriage is also fixed once the pundits choose an 'auspicious' day. I know next to nothing about astrology except that magazines would tell me every month that I would fall in love sometime around the 21st. However, in India astrology is a huge part of their lives and 'What's your sign?' is a common question. Nidhi bought tons of books about her sign and always told me I was 'so Taurean.' Hmm...Taurus is a bull with a red eye, Aldebaran, and is about to get shot by Orion...so how do I identify with that? Since I don't really know I've just decided that for me everyday is an auspicious day! Anyway, I'm off subject here so I'll just say we had a great day with our friends and, as always, I took pictures.

Awhile ago my friend, Alicia, posted something nice about me so I wanted to say something nice about her! Alicia and I were roommates in VA before we came to India and we connected instantly. In fact, we often had to discipline ourselves to go to bed because we'd stay up talking all night. I'm not sure I'd survive India without Alicia. We live 20 hours apart, but we've still talk all the time, and by the grace of God, even see each other more than we thought we would! She is loyal, encouraging, funny, beautiful, and loves India with all her heart. We have such a great time together and I am so thankful for Alicia and my other friends in South Asia. It's been over five months since Alicia and I have seen each other, but the countdown has begun...only 16 more days and we'll be reunited with our dear friend, Chesi, in the beautiful and immaculate country of Singapore! Chesi is another incredible person in my life with an amazing gift in singing and songwriting. Check out her music here.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

ADVENT

2006-12-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

We celebrated the beginning of the Advent with style! Yesterday, Emily and I went with our friend, Johanna, on a trek to a waterfall. It might surprise you that there are so many waterfalls in north India, but we have plenty of beautiful ones thanks to the glaciers of the greater Himalayas. Jo and I even went behind the waterfall (which is much bigger in the summer after the snow melts) and it was amazing! We lost feeling in our hands but we didn't care. Don't be fooled when I compain about the cold--I love it here!

and the world keeps spinning round. my world's upside down and i wouldn't change a thing.

I was listening to this song tonight and thinking about this time last year. I'd only been in India for about a month and had no idea what to expect. It's probably been the craziest year of my life (South Asia is synonomous with crazy)--and I don't know that I would've ever chosen some of the experiences I've had. But somehow I'm so thankful for them now. Maybe it's easier to look back and say this but I really wouldn't change anything that's happened this year.

We decorated our tree today. Our tree leans as you can see from the picture below. We have colored lights that blink. It's all they have here. We put them on the tree and took them off and put them back on several times to try and make it look better. Our efforts were in vain.

Today we had our first Advent reading and candle lighting. The picture below the tree is me lighting our candle, which is actually a Pumpkin Spice Yankee candle instead of a real Advent candle. Emily put a picture of a tree up on our 'Jesse Tree' because today's theme is the Root of Jesse. In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his place of rest will be glorious.'

I don't understand why there are all these issues in America right now about making Christmas less offensive to non-Christians. Christmas is a Christian holiday. No one in India cares if you talk about Christ during Christmas. They expect it. And India is not a Christian country. Beyond that, why are people getting so angry about things like this and things like Michael Richards making racist remarks and Britney Spears being a bad role model and going wild? I guess this is all bad stuff, but there are real reasons to be angry. Most of Malawi's AIDS victims are dying in 'hospitals' where three or four people share a bed with more people lying underneath. They are there because they can't afford the $1 a day required to get the right medicine. Why don't people get angry about that? On a more positive note I watched a segment about charity--and while many complain that the US government should give more aid, Americans, themselves, give more money out of their own pockets to charity than anyone else. So, way to go America. The biggest donors: religious people from the heartland. So, way to go Midwest.

We have a rat in our house. It comes in through the drain and we've tried all different things to contain it. We can't seem to find rat poison anywhere either. What to do? Actually, we never saw it--only evidence of it--until tonight. I was in the kitchen baking and the it ran out of the drain and behind the gas cylinder. It's not a normal rat--in fact, it looks a lot like Sensei from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I didn't know what to do so I kept baking. It went back into the drain.

Ok...I'm going to end this post with a picture of my favorite kid. If I could pick one kid to bring home with me I would pick him.

i've got nothing else to lose. i lost it all when i found you and i wouldn't change a thing.

preparing for hibernation

2006-11-29T06:27:00.000-08:00

So...it's cold. When I was in college I looked forward to the winter season. I had this nice black coat I wore with black boots and sweaters from J. Crew. I also had an assortment of matching scarves and hats and gloves...yeah, I was all about winter fashion...until I moved here! Now I wear wool pahari socks, rainbow-colored stocking caps, sweaters with fringe, and yak wool shawls. I wish it ended there...

So Emily, Beki, April, and myself are becoming a bit...rugged. I blame the cold. It makes us want to shower less. It makes us want to wear the same flannel pants for weeks without washing them (lest we get frosbite from ringing out our laundry by hand). It makes us sleep with Nalgene bottles of hot water. When I told my cousin, Christy, I was moving to the Himalayas she laughed and said she hoped I didn't become a crazy mountain woman and grow facial hair. Yeah me too, Christy, except it might just keep me warmer if I could.

There are other things that attribute to the ruggedness. I can't go into all the details, but we became concerned when I dropped a spoon on the ground and Beki said, 'Don't worry. You have the 5 minute rule.' When did the 5 second rule become the 5 minute rule? This brought about a serious question. Have we become gross people? Are we going to freak everyone in America out when eat food off of the ground, wear socks with our sandals, and tell people to go to the bathroom behind a rock instead of going inside? I'm afraid so. I'm afraid we've traded in all cleanliness and beauty in the name of survival. Soon we'll be skinning mountain lions. We live off the land. All we need is our yak wool and chapstick.

I guess I wasn't quite ready to embrace my new mountain image. I spent the day with my friend, Jessie, at a Tibetan beauty shop. It was tons of fun--we put cajole on our eyes--and I'm looking forward to spending more time with Jessie. I just met her a couple weeks back and she's a really sweet girl.

In case you wonder if the cold is worth it...well, this is the view from our porch. I'm really looking forward to being here for the Christmas season. In fact, I've decided that Emily and I are going to do something we've never done before which is fully celebrate the Advent. I'm in the process of creating a Jesse Tree and it's putting me in the Christmas spirit like nothing has before. Our hanging of the green ceremony will be Sunday so I'll try and post some pictures. We don't have the proper colored candles, but thanks to my mom, aunt, and cousin I have some good substitutes. I can't wait for it all to begin!

Giving Thanks

2006-11-25T08:02:00.000-08:00

Emily and I like to give the Show Me state a shout out during every holiday

Thanksgiving was truly amazing this year. We got to celebrate with our team and some other friends in a much warmer place! Highlights included TURKEY, college football, and golf. Yes, after not playing in 13 months I stepped foot on a golf course again. The best part was that my whole team came with me. Besides Kyle and myself, no one had ever played before. The girls were excited to learn, but I'm sure part of the reason they came was because they knew how excited I was...which meant a lot to me. My swing was a little off, but my putting was ok and that's usually the worst part of my game. It was so much fun teaching the girls and I was beyond excited to see everyone making solid contact with the ball after 5 holes (that was all we had time to play with seven people). OH--and we watched the OSU-Michigan game (downloaded from itunes) and it was such a great game! I avoided espn.com for days just so I wouldn't know who won.

I also got to talk with my family, and apparently the holidays are much quieter without me. That's not really surprising since I'm a huge source of entertainment at family events. No worries, familia, I'll be back to liven things up next year. Seriously, living in India has made me look at holidays much differently. When there are no signs of the 'season' anywhere around it forces you to think about why you're really celebrating. I really miss being with my family during these times, but I'm grateful to live in a third world country where I'm reminded on a daily basis of how important it is to be thankful and to give back. We had this one day to sort of feel like Americans again, but what will we do about the suffering around us the rest of the time? True thankfulness and generosity go hand in hand.

Kyle, me, and April eating turkey

the whole group watching football

Kyle with the 'caddies'

Melissa in action. Her golf name should be Killer because she hacked at that ball like it was her ex-boyfriend's face

I'm helping April line up her swing. She wanted to use her driver for every shot, but was finally convinced to use a club with more loft in the fairway. Her shots drastically improved after that!

Beki was our official caddie and Angie was just an all around natural

Emily demonstrating some nice form. Notice her head is down

Here I am putting from the fringe

April and me on the last hole with the gurdwara behind us

Speed Racer Beki and her sidekick, Side Saddle Kyle

My team in our local pahari caps, representing different districts in our state

Things I'm thankful for:

The hope, joy, peace, and purpose in my life

Family and friends who write me, call me, send me things, pray for me, think about me....

India--all the friends I have here and all the lessons I've learned here

Electricity, heaters, geysers, gas cylinders, the internet, and everything else that makes life here just a little bit easier

Shelter, food, and clean water

YOU--yes if you are reading this then you have some interest in my life and the country I love, for which I am truly thankful

The Christmas season and what it means for all of us

Happy Holidays everyone!

Untitled

2006-11-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

Here are some people I met last week. Aren't they beautiful? I LOVE the people up here. They have the best smiles and they love getting their picture taken. Isn't crazy that people wait in line for days for Play Stations in certain parts of the world while other people are fascinated by a simple digital camera?

I just read in Time magazine that Vietnam joined the WTO. Vietnam is in a race with India to be the fastest growing Asian economy behind China. It's GDP is projected to grow about 8.2% this year...that's pretty incredible. I love Vietnam and am excited it's climbing up the world economic ladder, but I wonder what it will be like when foreign direct investment starts pouring into the country. I wonder if the sea ports will be adequate. I wonder if foreign companies will be treated fairly by the government. I wonder if Vietnam will enjoy the full benefits awarded other WTO members. But the interesting thing is that people who stood in line for rations during the war are now participating in a large market where they have choices and freedom to buy what they want. Development can be difficult and controversial at times, but how rewarding must it be for these people? Economic growth is fascinating--there are so many great stories--like Jordan's economy, right Suzanne?

We're headed to a different city tomorrow to celebrate Thanksgiving with some American friends. I'll give you a full update when I come back. For now I will leave this quote, 'Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy...both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me'--Steve Carell from The Office. Haha...I've been laughing about this all day, but it probably isn't funny to you without the context. Even so, I wish I knew about this quote when I had to write my Machiavelli paper in college.

...and finally, this post was more for my enjoyment than anything else. I don't expect you to be interested in anything I just wrote about. But I do want to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Trekking

2006-11-14T19:33:00.000-08:00

November has been great for hiking. We've been able to go on some beautiful treks lately, which is helping me get back into shape. Our house group leader, J, has actually become my fitness accountability partner--she is one of those people who will be in National Geographic when she's 100 because she'll still be riding a motorcycle and climbing up mountains. I am trying to be more creative with exercise these days...pilates gets really boring after awhile.

Our friend, Alisha, came to visit for a couple of days with her hometown friend, Anna (who is currently teaching in South Korea). We had a great time with them and I posted some pictures below of our hike...only a few though because after awhile every photo of a snow capped mountain starts to look the same.

Today I met a girl about my age in town. We had chai and talked for a really long time. She told me a story that was a mirror image of something I've experienced in my own life. I'm not sure why I see myself as so different from the girls I meet in India--I'm really not. I just have to get past my own initial reservations and the obvious cultural differences. It's easy to make friends, but such a blessing when I really connect with someone here. I haven't had such a good conversation with an Indian girl since Nidhi, who is now far away in Bangalore.

Anna inspired me to learn more about North Korea while she was here. She went to the border--called DMZ or something like that--and it sounds like a pretty crazy experience. I watched this

documentary tonight and it is really mind blowing. At least I thought so. The documentary is six years old and it tells the story of the starving orphans in North Korea, as well as stories of refugees who have escaped to China. Most of the food and aid sent to the country is given to the military and those loyal to the party, never reaching the people who really need it. North Korea has been described as the last Stalinist regime, which is scary to think about since that regime killed more people than the Holocaust (and no one knew the extent of the damage until much later).

Anyway, you really should watch Children of the Secret State when you have time because all we hear on the news about North Korea is the nuclear threat and how it affects us. While this is a serious global concern of the highest magnitude, I think it's important to remember that it's also a nation of 22 million people who are either brainwashed or starving (maybe both) and have no hope of getting out. I'm not really sure what the average person is supposed to do, but we can at least try and humanize this country and think of it as more than one totalitarian leader who is our enemy.

Recent travels!!!

2006-11-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

My team just took a road trip and below are pictures of the places we went. April and I also dressed up for Halloween so I included a picture of that as well.

We covered a lot of ground in a short time. I think north India is one of the most fascinating places in the world. In only a few days we were at the Dalai Lama's temple in the mountains, the Golden Temple (holy shrine for Sikhs) in the Punjab, and the border of India and Pakistan for the nightly closing ceremony. Pretty exciting stuff. We also ate at this really amazing restaurant where I spent $7 on one meal, which is unheard of up here. For your educational enjoyment I've included some links.

http://www.dalailama.com/ information about the Dalai Lama

http://www.sikhnet.com/ information about Sikhism

http://www.thingsasian.com/goto_article/article.2323.html information about Waghah Border

Oh, and I've been tagged by Alicia. She got tagged by someone else and had to list nine weird things about herself. Now I have to do it--and I sure don't want to break any rules of the blog world. It was really hard to narrow it down to only nine things but I did my best.

1. I am addicted to the news and go crazy when I can't read it for several days. I'd rather watch Fox News video clips and CNN Livestream than most movies.

2. I hate pastel colors--except at Easter time

3. I adopted a manatee named Brutus in high school. I did a project on manatees and felt really sorry for them so I decided to adopt one. I have a picture and everything.

4. I like to eat raw oysters on the half shell with cocktail sauce

5. I know all six verses to the song American Pie by Don Mclean

6. I have a very high tolerance for spicy food, but can barely eat any dairy without getting sick

7. I can beat anyone in HORSE. Yes, even you. Well, maybe except for Steve Kerr and my dad because he cheats.

8. Snakes really freak me out. Bugs and spiders aren't such a big deal, but snakes make me want to cry. I usually have to run from the cobra guys in India.

9. I think I can count the number of times I skipped class in college on one hand. Sometimes I was half asleep but I always went.

World Champions!

2006-10-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

...and the Redbirds win! I went crazy. How crazy you may wonder? Well, no one will ever know because I was listening to the game alone and Emily was fast asleep. Anyway, it made me a little sad that I couldn't be at home to watch the Cardinals win their first World Series in my lifetime (10th overall, but who's counting?). My dad called to fill me in on the postgame celebrations...way to go Eckstein! I also got a bunch of e-mails, which kind of made it feel like my birthday. Thanks Missouri for still loving, as well as my college friends who witnessed my devestation in 2004. The Cards only won 83 games this year, the fewest of any other WS winner in history. I'm so biased that I never really think my team is the underdog, but the truth is we were this year and that makes it that much more beautiful.

After finishing my daily activities I decided to go to the only restaurant in town with a TV and find highlights of the game. Shortly after I sat down two girls came in with their mom and asked if they could watch TV. I'm really bad at saying no so ESPN was quickly changed to Bride and Prejudice. Their mom was a real nice woman from England and she sat and talked with me for a long time about her life. Her husband is Indian and they're getting a divorce because she can't get along with his family. Right now they're staying with a friend. Well, much to my surprise, her friend turned out to be the Frenchman.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned the Frenchman before. He's an old European guy (we just assumed French because we're ignorant when it comes to European accents) that walks around with a glass of whiskey at all times during the day. The first time I saw him he was talking to himself about how he didn't like Latinos shortly before passing out. This time he was quite amicable and we talked for awhile until one of the girls took his passport out of his pocket. All of a sudden he freaked out and started yelling, 'Put that away. It's a fake! I'm gonna get in trouble if the cops show up.' Then he handed me the passport and joked about how he is a 'British citizen', and there it was, the ultimate forgery in my hands.

It turns out the Frenchman is actually Sicilian. He lived in Latin America for a number of years (which made the dislike for Latinos make more sense) but originates from none other than the island of Sicily. I'm pretty sure this guy is no Jason Bourne so it freaks me out a little that he has a fake passport, but there is no way I'm going to cross a Sicilian guy. I've seen the Godfather trilogy twice and I don't want my next encounter with Mr. Corleone to involve an offer I can't refuse...

All that to say we really don't need TV for entertainment in this town.

Random thoughts on my one year anniversary

2006-10-26T03:42:00.000-07:00

It should snow within the next month or two. This morning I sat on my porch wrapped in a fleece blanket and stared at our flowers, thinking about how they'll be dead soon. Then I started longing for the day when things won't die anymore.

Emily, me, and our friend, Steve, spent a really amazing day yesterday with a local mountain man. We sat in his home for hours while he shared his life with us. I'm actually not sure how long we were there because I was so caught up in his story that I lost track of time. He talked like it had been years since anyone had really sat and listened to him. I sadly realized that even in the great information age the best stories will probably never be heard.

When we first arrived in our town we had a fixed auto price from the bazaar to our house. The price increased by ten rupees during tourist season. Well, tourist season has long been over but the rate has yet to go down. I think all the drivers have banded together and refuse to give us the previous rate, and therefore, have decided to boycott autos unless I'm out at night. On the first day of my boycott I was walking uphill and hauling my eggs, milk, and bananas when a cow walked into the middle of the road and cut me off. Then the cow turned and rammed me in the stomach with his head and almost knocked me over. I just can't win in this country.

One whole year in India today. Pretty crazy. Below are some pictures from the early days.

This is Alicia and me on our first day in India

This is Kenny. He doesn't live here anymore, but he was a part of our 'welcome to India' experience. He was helpful with getting autos and telling us what was good at Bennigans. I can't find pictures of Heather and Megan but they were also fun, helpful people who don't live here anymore.

Check out these fine ladies. Sellers, Ruthart, Emily, and The Big Chill--what more could you ask for?

This is the Indira Gandhi memorial, which absolutely no one cared about except for me. Due to majority rules we cut the infamous Delhi tour short to go back and watch Alias. I'm still a little bitter about missing the temple with the naked Jain.

This is my hair straightener. I fried it on the first day because I didn't use the right converter. It's miserable condition was photographed by the lovely Lindsey Ruthart because that girl takes pictures of everything. We've already planned to imitate our favorite cd covers the next time we're in Thailand so you can look forward to that photo spread in about two and a half months.

I considered making a slideshow of my favorite pictures from the year, but who has time for that? It has been an incredible year, though, full of more than I ever expected. I'm so thankful for the group I came out here with...even if they cut my Delhi tour short. Happy one year everyone!

Diwali

2006-10-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

Diwali is the festival lights. It's probably the largest Hindu holiday, but is also an important day for Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains. Diwali celebrates the triumph of good over evil and the hope for peace and prosperity. It is celebrated differently all over India, but most people offer puja (worship) to Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity. Also, the god Rama, and his wife Sita, supposedly returned from exile during this time and defeated evil.

Lights are everywhere during Diwali. Many people decorate their homes and businesses with them. They also make rangolis (drawings with flowers on the ground) outside their homes and light little lamps called diyas. Most people give gifts to their family members and neighbors. Perhaps the most noticeable feature of Diwali is the large amount of fireworks, or crackers as they're called here. Crackers go off all day and night without ceasing and many of them sound more like explosions instead of fireworks. Below are pictures from our Diwali celebration.

Anish and Shobu with sparklers

Emily and me with sparklers on our porch

lighting crackers

notice the proximity of this cracker to the vehicle

dancing in fire...this was actually a lot of fun. we lit crackers that spin on the ground and then jumped around in the sparks.

Shanav and me lighting a cracker

Diwali sweets

Kriticka excited for Diwali

rangoli outside the Sharma house

Lakshmi puja and lit diyas

our landlords, the Sharmas

Diwali candle outside my window

Emily and I had a lot of fun with the Sharma family on Diwali. It felt like being a kid again lighting crackers, although a little frightening at certain points. We also ate dinner with everyone and Mr. Sharma shared all kinds of stories with us about Indian festivals and life in the mountains. Although we don't celebrate Diwali, it was so great to share the experience with our Indian family and learn their traditions.

AND--the Redbirds took game 1 in Detroit! It was an awesome game with rookie Anthony Reyes getting the win. I think the momentum is in our favor...it's gonna be a great series...

Victory!

2006-10-20T09:04:00.000-07:00

It should be no surprise I've been closely following the NLCS (even though that means waking up at 5 in the morning to listen to games). The series made me so nervous! Seven games and close till the end...Beki and April are in town so this morning April and I listened to Mike Shannon and John Rooney call the game. Well, April was kind of asleep but she says she heard part of it. ANYWAY, I was nothing short of ecstatic over Yadier Molina's two run shot in the 9th inning to give us the lead! My dad called immediately after and we were both in awe...did the Cardinals (who have limited pitching and a shaky postseason offense) really beat the Mets (who completely dominated the NL East)? Yes, indeed. That is why I love sports. Anything is possible.

I also couldn't help feeling a little sad. I've been watching the Cards since I knew what baseball was and it would be so fun to watch the World Series with my family and friends. Fortunately, April was sweet enough to celebrate with me. She made decorations and dressed up in Cardinals shirts with me...then we toasted my team with some hot apple cider (along with Beki and Emily).

Also, it's beyond cold here right now. Yesterday our entire town lost power and today it's rained without stopping. I was outside for three minutes to hang my laundry and my fingers turned blue. I think I may have underestimated how tough winter will be here. My feet are never warm and I'm afraid my toes will look like Adam Sandler's in Mr. Deeds before too much longer.

Well, that's all for now. If you're in America be sure and watch the Redbirds for me. Tomorrow is Diwali, a huge Hindu festival so I'll fill you in on that later.

John's Lament

2006-10-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

The following may only be of interest to John or those who know him...

Supposedly, I have this brother named John but it's been over a year since I have laid eyes upon his face. As you can tell from the picture above he is too cool for words and too hot to keep in one place. You see, most of my life for the past five years has involved missing John in some form or fashion. We've chosen different roads--he the life of a starving musician and me the life of a weary traveler. We're a long way from the glorious days of long car rides, free style rapping, and boogey boarding off the treadmill in the basement.

John is on tour with a band, a tour that I have named 'Where in the USA is John Reagan?' He's in Seattle. He's in Sacramento. No wait--he's in Salt Lake City. I spotted him in Amarillo. Are you sure? I think I saw him somewhere in Arizona. Who the heck knows where he is? Not me. He doesn't write. He doesn't pick up the phone...or when he does the battery is always almost dead and he can only talk for five minutes. Yes, I'm afraid he's slowly turning from a reality into a myth...is he real or just some crazy dream me, my family, and all of Richland, Missouri is slowly waking from?

When Suzanne and I interned in Jordan a few summers ago we heard the call to prayer five times a day. One day we decided to put our own words to the 'music.' We named it John's Lament and sang (or wailed) about how much we missed him--but I don't have the call to prayer so I may have to rewrite the Lament to the tune of Salaam Namaste or It's the Time to Disco.

John, why do you have to be so far away? Why don't you ever charge your phone or use a computer? Come back into my life!

Christmas in October

2006-10-15T03:49:00.000-07:00

Emily and I were recently graced with the presence of two incredible friends, Karen and Lindsey. They came up north for a visit--and it snowed! It was SO cold and I felt really bad, but they loved it. After all, they often have to endure pollution and intense heat so a little fresh mountain air and precipitation was a welcome change.

We visited our friends, Adi and Abishek, in a nearby town. Their family owns apple orchards and a really nice shop full of yak wool, sheep wool, and angora. It was so much fun to hang out, drinking chai and apple juice, and laugh with them. They even let us go down and watch some of their weavers at work. We left supplied with yak wool, angora, and two bottles of amazing apple juice.

Although it's mid-October the Christmas spirit was in the air. Well, actually the Christmas spirit is never really in the air in India, but among we four Americans there was definitely an urge to celebrate the season. October is a huge month for Hindu festivals so we thought what better time to celebrate hope coming to the world? Karen made some great apple cider and Lindsey and Emily made wrapping paper for the gifts we bought each other. We sang Christmas hymns, read the Christmas story, and shared our biggest struggles and greatest blessings since coming to India. Holidays are complicated in India. There are so many rituals, events, myths, etc...it's hard to make sense of it all, meaning what is actually being celebrated and why. It was so amazing to rest in the simplicity of Christmas for a night, so wonderful to know that it truly is for everyone. After all, the first people to hear the good news were shepherds not unlike the sheep and goat herders I see daily in the mountains.

Linds and me wrapped in fleece and wearing down booties

Linds and me with flowers in our hair

The four of us in the garden by Emily's window

Lindsey, Karen, and Emily in the back of a taxi

Karen and me (notice the snow capped mountain)

Emily and me

Lindsey, Emily, and me

Lindsey making wrapping paper

Karen making apple cider

Some of our presents wrapped with love

Sweet October

2006-10-11T23:47:00.000-07:00

October in the mountains has taken my breath away. After months of monsoon season, the sun has come out, the flowers are blooming, the warm breeze greets us daily like a faithful friend... of course, there is only a small window of opportunity to enjoy this perfection. The sun descends in the early afternoon and the breeze turns into a brisk chill forcing us to bring out our socks and sweaters. Even so, the daylight hours are nothing short of amazing.

My friend, Alicia, and I were talking about how hard it is to be in constant contemplation here. We want to be expressive, to form words in such a way that they artfully portray this place to those who have never seen it before. But honestly, sometimes it's just too hard to find the words. I think I don't know what to do with most of the things I see. It's hard to believe that there can be a collision of such different worlds in one place, all the natural beauty along with starvation, suffering, and disease. It's hard to walk through the city, markets, and villages and feel unable to do anything to help. It's hard to be in the middle of festivals and see offerings given for wealth, health, and protection and know how largely ineffective they are. It's hard to see the flowers so well-cared for and wonder why humanity isn't treated the same way. However, as time passes all this somehow becomes normal and it becomes safer to not notice as much as I used to. It becomes easier to share the fun and crazy stories and tuck everything else away, not forgotten but not exactly dwelt on either. Even my best words would fail to accurately describe the hurt I witness daily in India (in the same way I believe they fall short of describing the beautiful things), but in the long run apathy will prove to be far more worse than failed words. After all, feeling doesn't have to always be accompanied by understanding does it? Lately, I can almost hear these words whispered in my ear on a daily basis. 'Don't try and make sense of it all. Just be sad. Just be compassionate. Just offer whatever you can at the moment. Just pray. Just let it change you.' Another conflict with my western mind in the eastern world--trying to fully live in the world without having to understand any of it.

As for other things...I have been learning to play cricket with Anish, my landlord's 11 year old son and his cousin, Shobu. Every now and then he'll show up at our door with his cricket bat and we'll go play. Last night I played a new position, keeper, which is kind of like the catcher. It was a little dark and the ball was hard to see but we still had a great time. Anish told me, 'Julie didi, you keep real nice. I think you are even better than me.' Then he told me if he ever formed his own cricket team he would call me to come be the keeper. Well, I have to admit I got a little emotional because that might have been the best compliment I've ever received.

Emily and I have two good friends coming tomorrow so I'll be sure to post pictures and share our time together with all of you!

Badminton, Austria, and Sri Lanka

2006-10-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

Life continues to be interesting... I had a good time with April while she was here. After our fun time at the mela we decided to do a little hiking and enjoy nature. It was not, however, the relaxing time we thought it would be. We were chased by a pack of wild dogs and ended up getting lost. Fortunately, we were unharmed but I sure was thankful I got that rabies shot!

Emily returned from America. Yay! She practically brought all of Wal-Mart back with her so we have tons of good food now. I was compelled to make chicken salad last night and it was pretty amazing. The past few days we've had two girls, Vondana and Rajani, staying with us. They normally live in a hostel where we teach, but are staying at our house during their holiday. It's been fun having young girls who can't speak English here. We've played Uno, watched movies, colored pictures...we even played some badminton. I hated badminton in high school gym class. My usual response to badminton day was, 'Can't we play a real game?' in some kind of whiny voice. But here in India my athletic opportunties are minimal so I enjoyed knocking that little birdie around immensely.

Last week at the wedding I met this Austrian woman--the only foreigner there besides me. She was only there for an hour and I barely said five words to her...BUT last night she ended up on our doorstep and was like, 'Hey! What's up?' like we were old friends. Her rather jolly Sri Lankan husband was with her and he informed us that we were the 'smallest Americans he has ever seen.' Thanks--considering I eat ten times more oil and grease in this country than I ever did in America. He also told us we should spend the winter surfing in Sri Lanka and he would teach us how to live without ever having to work. Then he lit up a sweet smelling something and started puffing away. I was thinking to myself, 'I know you are not smoking a j on my porch,' but indeed he was. It was a rather interesting conversation and they did give us a slice of their purely vegetarian cheese. Just another perk of living in the world of hippie love!

Crazy Monday

2006-10-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

My friend April decided to come visit for a couple of days. We planned on having an 'escape from India night' which involved making a nice dinner, watching movies, and just hanging out in the comfort of my apartment. BUT, there is this huge festival going on about an hour from where I live. All of the gods and goddesses in the district are paraded to this particular place and animals are sacrificed in their honor. This may sound morbid but I was slightly intrigued so I casually mentioned the festival to April and she immediately lit up and said, 'Let's go!' We hopped in a taxi and arrived after a rather arduous drive, but were distracted on our quest to find the morbid ceremony by a large ferris wheel and cotton candy. It was kind of a scary ride but we survived and followed the god parades to the main event. We did not actually witness an animal sacrifice but there was a huge mass of something that eerily smelled like meat on one of the altars. Just another typical Monday in India.

April and I with our cotton candy
The ferris wheel

View from the ferris wheel

one of the idols in a tent at the fair

one of the many god parades

April and I made broccoli and cheese soup. Oh yes! I did find broccoli in my town today and it was glorious. The soup was really good--not quite Panera Bread but that was largely due to the processed cheese. India just does not know how to do cheese and it's real hard on a girl with a dairy allergy. Not a slice of skim cheddar to be found...

Weddings and baseball

2006-09-30T11:38:00.000-07:00

Here are pictures from the fun wedding I just went to! I made a lot of new friends and got to experience Himachali culture in a whole new way.

I've been listening to the Cardinals game online while posting these pictures--a very crucial game I might add...AND Scott Spezio just hit a three run triple in the bottom of the 8th to put the Cards on top! I'm so excited, yet, so very alone and have no one here to jump around and share my joy. How sad. I spend so much of my time not understanding what's happening around me, and I must admit that there are times when I long to just feel normal. Right now I would give anything to have a hot dog and be watching the game in Missouri with some thundersticks and fellow Redbird appreciators. But alas, I will remain here on the other side of the world and celebrate that my team's end of September collapse has not proven to be completely fatal just yet.

Weekend traveling

2006-09-26T12:09:00.000-07:00

I know I promised pictures from my weekend, but I didn't end up taking any. I stole the pictures below from April's blog. It was great to see Beki and April--we ended up taking a last minute trip to Chandigarh to meet with the rest of our team. Despite the traveling it was refreshing to be with everyone. Our team doesn't meet regularly so we always enjoy an opportunity to be together...at least we share a lot of commonalities. Most of us do pilates. We're all addicted to 24 (I am proud to say that I started that craze). Anyway, we mountain people do what we can to stay connected.

When I returned to my city I was exhausted and had dirt caked all over my face because the taxi window was open during the entire drive. I collapsed on my bed for awhile and then my landlord called to inform me that I had a package at the post office. He also told me that if I didn't pick it up immediately they were going to open it and take what was inside. Apparently, it had been there since Friday (three whole days). I raced down to the post office and had to fight through the mob...and I learned an important lesson. The post office here has the right to claim any package left after three days. Talk about a very unfriendly customer service. Just another thing to keep me on my toes.

Beki and April's landlord made us this awesome brunch the morning I arrived. Channa and poori--so delicious!
Beki made some great cheesecake using some unusual ingredients

This is what travel in the mountains does to me. I passed out shortly after arriving at Beki and April's. I actually didn't realize that April took this picture until I saw it on her blog, but it pretty much captures what I looked like most of the weekend.

Coming up...I have yet another wedding tomorrow. I know, I am like the Indian wedding crasher or something. This one is in a nearby village and the bride is my landlord's sister-in-law. I should have some fun pictures and am really looking forward to meeting the rest of this family. It will be my first Hindu Himachali wedding so I will post a good blog about it...promise!

3 AM

2006-09-21T15:26:00.000-07:00

So, I realize my blog entries have been lacking depth lately. I'm sorry about that because I really do love writing, but writing on a public blog is not the easiest thing in the world. Anyway, my mind is totally out of India right now. I talked with a German woman tonight about Jordan since we've both been there. We talked about Petra and how amazing it is...

I couldn't sleep tonight because I had a terrible headache. I was doing some mindless stuff on the internet when my friend, Ghadeer (who happens to live in Jordan) started talking to me. We talked about Ramadan for awhile and what I'm doing in India, among other things. Then she started talking about wars and how sad it all is so I agreed and told her I was glad I had hope in something beyond this world. Then she told me she was born in Kuwait (which I never knew) and her family was there during the war. She talked about planes and lights in the sky and being afraid for her life and I just started crying...because what can you do? It's 3 AM, my head is aching, and my friend is sharing this painful story about how she didn't have enough food to eat and thought she was going to die. What can I do? I can't relate to it at all so I just sit at my computer in the dark and cry. I definitely don't want to discuss anything political on my blog so this really has nothing to do with the ethics of war or my thoughts on the subject. But I will say that a nine year old girl should not have to go through such an experience--one that obviously still haunts her years later.

Ghadeer said she liked what I said about hope and asked me to explain what I meant. We spent the next hour discussing faith and what it is that we actually live for and cling to in this world. She asked me a lot of tough questions. In fact, it was a difficult conversation overall but refreshing since I live among people that accept just about everything as some form of truth. Ghadeer, like me, has more of an absolute view of truth--it exists and is what it is despite what anyone chooses to believe. We also realize that we both can't be right. She told me she liked the way I think and she knows someday the truth will become clear to me. I hope it will become clear to everyone.

Ok...it's offically dawn which means my mind needs to return to India because my body is most definitely here. I'm spending the weekend with some friends in a neighboring town so I should have some great pictures and stories to share. OH--and the picture above is of Petra and if it looks familiar that's because it's where Indiana Jones went on his last crusade. You should definitely try and get there someday but don't bother trying to find the holy grail. It isn't there--I already looked. And that weird knight guy--he's gone too.

Favorite Places

2006-09-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

Congratulations Ram Singh! Our friend got married last night and it was our first Christian wedding in India. That means it ended at 8 PM instead of 4 AM so we were happy about that!

This is our friend, Himanchu, who might be the coolest kid ever!

Pictured above is my friend, Charity, and me. We have been friends forever. I honestly can't remember a time when I didn't know Charity. I could tell you about her, but some friends are hard to describe on a blog--so if I ever get around to writing my own book one day she'll definitely have her own chapter. Anyway, Charity just sent me a random e-mail listing her top ten favorite places in the world and asked me to do the same. Have you ever done that? I hadn't until now, but it's a lot of fun to think of the places that have left an impression on your life...
Charity's Top Ten (in no particular order)
1. The KT trail in Coulmbia, Missouri
2. Running along Lake Michigan in Chicago, IL.
3. The deck off of Julie's room in Richland, MO.
4. Julie's basement with her, her mom, dad, and 24 (and maybe some popcorn and tea)
5. The subway in Chicago, IL.
6. The Quad at Mizzou
7. The park in Chicago where she wants to get married
8. The airport in Delhi--what??? I had to ask her about that one!
9. Anywhere in Paris
10. Her waterbed in Richland, MO.

My Top Ten (in no particular order)
1. My basement with my parents and Charity watching 24 (with popcorn and tea of course)
2. My aunt's backyard, pool, and hot tub with my friends
3. The lawn in front of Raley Chapel on OBU's campus
4. Busch Stadium (although I haven't been to the new one yet)
5. M Street in Washington DC
6. Chanderthal Lake in north India
7. The Dead Sea
8. The theater district in London
9. Hoi An, Vietnam
10. Porto Cima at the Lake of the Ozarks

The weekend in pictures

2006-09-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

The rain has subsided...for now. Em and I journeyed to a nearby village today and it was such a great time. Village life in the mountains is so fascinating--it's almost like India's version of Silver Dollar City or colonial Williamsburg, only real. Anyway, below are some pictures of our excursion.

Changes: A lot of changes are taking place for some very important people in my life so the rest of this blog is officially dedicated to them.

This is Megan, a member of the Fab 5 and one of my best friends from college. Today she is getting married to Kevin (who is the guy in the picture in case you didn't figure that out). We always knew that Megan would be the first one to get married. The rest of us are currently fighting for last place. I wish more than anything I could be there for this moment in Megan's life--she has taught me more than anyone how to perservere through a broken heart and look ahead towards something better. Not to mention we have such a good time together! Many of my fun and hilarious memories from college involve Megan. I would also like to mention that I was present for Megan and Kevin's first 'date.' She just sort of decided one day that she liked him and wanted to go hang out with him at OSU. She asked me to come for moral support, and of course I went along for curiosity purposes. We drove to Stillwater and spent an evening with Kevin and his friends and I'll admit that I didn't see much of a future for the two of them considering they barely said two words to each other. However, I was wrong and now they're getting married and making my matchmaking record something like 0-87.

Meet Kiran Elizabeth! She is the newborn daughter of my dear friends, Jonathan and Kelley, and unlike most newborns, she is absolutely beautiful! Kiran is a Hindi name and means ray of light. I haven't met her yet, but I am so excited for J and K. They will make such great parents. They're amazing people and whenever I'm in their city I swing by and spend time with them. Kelley and I always have great and honest conversations that go on for hours and hours, and usually only end because one of us absolutely has to leave. I love how I can totally be myself with them and can't wait to meet the new addition to their family. I hear she's tall--she's going to be basketball player, I just know it!

Here's a picture of Alicia, me, Kelley, and Jonathan in Washington DC last year. It's one of my favorite memories of them--the four of us ended up at this random yoga instructor's house in north DC and had one of the most bizarre conversations ever, and J almost stepped on some kind of fire altar...but here we are, in the front of the Lincoln Memorial and happy to be back in the tourist part of the city.

My new sisters

2006-09-05T08:38:00.000-07:00

I've inherited three new sisters. Aprajita, Soniya, and Preity asked me to teach them how to use the internet and I just couldn't refuse. They came over today for 'computer class' but it turned into 'let's try on all of Julie's clothes and have a dance party' instead. Well, I don't have any real sisters so it was a new experience for me. Thankfully, John never wanted to borrow my clothes or makeup. My college roommates and I mainly wore t-shirts and jeans...who wants to get dressed up to sit through accounting class? I am, however, willing to sacrifice many things in the name of fun so we ended computer class early. After all the internet will always be there.

Me, Aprajita, Soniya

Aprajita modeling a Rajasthani turban with me posing as a Rajasthani girl

Aprajita and Preity in turbans, Soniya in my hat from Vietnam

Preity, with Soniya and I, representing America's team

Fixing Aprajita's hair

Soniya modeling my lengha

Fools are constantly looking for the next thing in life to happen. Wisdom gives everything to what is right in front of it. This is a paraphrase from a podcast I was listening to (have I mentioned how amazing broadband is?) a few nights back. Many of my friends have told me they envy the fact that I live in India because I'm away from the pressure of American life. Honestly, I don't feel that way. I still have an American personality that wants to know things ahead of time, that wants to have a plan--even though I'm supposed to be a P according to the Meyers-Briggs (I really don't like personality tests because my answer for every question is 'it depends' and I get stressed out). We live in an age where we have unlimited information and facts avaliable to us--yet how many times have I wondered and agonized over what to do in certain situations? Information just does not equal wisdom.

I have less than a year left in India so it's not a bad idea to think about the future, but there is so much that demands my time and energy here. I may never have another opportunity to live in the mountains, counsel hurting people, teach English, explore villages, and dress up Indian girls in my clothes... I've realized that I don't need more answers. I need more wisdom to guide me through my daily life in India. I know everything I'm supposed to at the moment--what am I doing with the knowledge I already have?

On a completely unrelated note, I was talking to my friend, April, tonight and she informed me that her mom likes the pictures on my blog. Mrs. Coffman, I really appreciate that and will keep it in mind for future posts...sometimes I ramble when I write but you can never go wrong with pictures!

The rain just keeps coming...

2006-09-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

Rainy season has lasted a bit longer this year than usual I believe...not to mention it's COLD already. Today was a stay inside day, a day for reports--my least favorite kind. I tried to make some changes on my blog to make it more appealing to the eye. I only got so far because I got bored. I really hate layout design type stuff. Melissa, my college roommate, was the yearbook editor and would spend hours designing spreads. How she had the patience to do that I'll never understand.

So news from India (besides bad weather). I am teaching my new friend, Nitu, English. Teaching is quite challenging and I never realized how ridiculous the English language is until now. Hindi is easy to read--very phonetic, but it's next to impossible to write in English unless you've been speaking it from birth. Anyway, Nitu is a good student and I'm enjoying spending time with her. It's also good for my Hindi...

I started helping at the counseling center in our town, and it's introduced me to a whole other world. Did you know that 1 out of every 10 suicides in the world is an Indian? And the majority of those suicides take place during the young adult years...

The roads are starting to close around us. The winter is coming and I'm nervous. Before long it will be time to hunt down a gas heater and some electric blankets! The other day I was walking (wading) to meet Nitu and I saw two hippie travelers (or 'weird westerners' as my national friend calls them) on the street. The guy was down on one knee proposing to the girl. I guess she said yes because they started making out and I felt awkward having stumbled upon their tender moment. I mean, despite the torrential downpour and the cows and auto rickshaws surrounding us it was really romantic.

Some words from Pedro the Lion: from what i've seen so far i can't believe my eyes and what a nice suprise. It's good to know that there is so much more happening right now than my eyes can see.

Celebrations

2006-08-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

There is much to celebrate these days...first and foremost, Emily and I finally got our broadband connection! We've been here in India ten months now and have used Bluetooth most of the time, which is incredibly slow. It would take us up to an hour to download any e-mail over a megabyte. Then, three weeks ago, I broke our Bluetooth device during a moment of reckless behavior and we've been without internet ever since...except for the internet cafes about 30 minutes from our house. We actually applied for broadband five months ago, but they didn't have any connections available until recently. They also didn't have modems so we had to hunt down our own. It was a rather painful process, but we were finally approved and the installation was completed today! I got to call my parents on Skype from my room. It was great!

As for other excitement. I recently celebrated my one year anniversary of knowing these girls...

We've been through a lot together and I can't believe a whole year has passed...but I can promise you, if you ever have the opportunity to know any of these girls consider yourself a blessed person.

This is my friend, April. She has orange hair, which was a mistake but I happen to think it looks totally awesome. Sometimes I wish I was still at an age where I could dye my hair crazy colors...but I'm an adult now so maybe those days are over.

There's a lot happening in India these days. I will fill you in later, but the following is for those who appreciate the shallow, yet visually and emotionally satisfying world of Bollywood.
Emily and I were walking down the street and we met two little boys. We asked them their names in Hindi and one said, 'I'm Abishek.' Nice to meet you, Abishek. We looked at the other one and he said, 'I'm Hrithik Roshan.' Ha! I started cracking up--what a cool kid. I'm going to start introducing myself as Preity Zinta.

Team Retreat

2006-08-23T00:14:00.000-07:00

April, Emily, Beki, and I went to the most amazing place on earth last week! It took us six hours to get there and six hours to get back...and it was pretty much off-roading the whole time. Who knew places like this still existed? Places that are so secluded most people will never have an opportunity to see them. Places that will never be accessible by a paved road or turned into a national park. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves (not that they really capture it all), but just in case you were wondering...there's still plenty to discover here on planet earth.

Wedding Pictures

2006-08-12T01:21:00.000-07:00

I just returned from Nidhi's wedding. It was lots of fun, but I don't have much energy to write about it--so I decided to put up a lot of pictures. Those are more fun anyway.

At the Sungeet (party before the wedding)

With Nidhi's mother and grandmother

Nidhi and me
Shalini (Nidhi's sister-in-law) and me
The bride and groom dancing
Dancing with Monika
Wedding morning puja
Uncle Ji praying
Preity and Nidhi (sisters)
Hugging Nidhi
After morning puja
E and me at the wedding
Emily, April, and me
April, Bua Ji, Monika, and me
Bride and groom walking around the fire
Shem putting saffron in Nidhi's hair
With Nidhi and Shem
Brother's Holiday--Nidhi's wedding was on the same day as a holiday in India celebrating brothers. Sisters give their brothers bracelets as a sign of honor. Since my brother is far away I gave bracelets to some of the guys in India who are like brothers to me.

day of grace

2006-08-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

Today I spent the afternoon at a nearby village. Pictured above are some of the woods I walked through on my way home. ..overall, it wasn't too eventful but I did learn a rather valuable lesson.

We live in a man's world--(not exactly a revolutionary statement, most of you probably knew that). Confession: I don't like living in a man's world very much. A man's world can be a rather hard place for a woman to be--especially when I read about women being executed for driving cars in the Middle East, barbaric female circumcision in Africa, and women in India getting HIV because they don't have the right to demand their husbands use protection or get tested. Call me a feminist. I don't care. These stories make me mad...and those aren't extreme situations. They happen all the time. Don't worry--I'm not going to get into feminism on this blog. I'm not crazy and I like most of the men in my life, but feel free to e-mail me and ask about it.

ANYWAY, personally it's more of the small daily annoyances I face as a girl here in India. I can deal with them most of the time, but after awhile they get to my last nerve. Every now and then you have to stand up for yourself to keep your sanity, right? Today was one of those days (I'd just read about the Indian women and AIDS thing in Newsweek). I got to my street and was walking and minding my own business when a taxi full of Indian guys pulled up next to me and started harassing me. This is nothing new so I just ignored them, but they kept slowing down and waiting for me to catch up with them and bothering me again. Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. What's the deal with these guys? How cool are they harassing girls from a moving vehicle? I sort of felt like I owed it to the female gender to do something so I picked up a rock and was about to hurl it at them when I heard someone yell my name. It was my friend, Dixika, standing at the end of the street with a group of people. How could I justify the act of physical violence I was about to commit? I had no choice but to drop the rock and go talk to her. The taxi sped away.

I just finished reading a book, 'What's So Amazing About Grace?', by Philip Yancey. He describes the two main forces in life as the natural force of gravity and the unatural force of grace. There are also two kinds of actions in the world: acts of grace and acts of ungrace. Dixika's presence saved me from an act of ungrace. Of course, naturally I could say I was defending myself. Who would blame me? No one. They'd probably all say--'Yes, Julie, you have the right to be a little paranoid--especially after all you've been through.' The truth is I wasn't all that concerned with my safety. I was mad and I wanted to release my anger (for the record I'm not a violent person and I've never hit anyone with a rock before). That's a perfectly natural thing...but then there's this whole doctrine of grace that comes in and complicates things. Grace doesn't condone wrong actions, but it does aspire to deal with them in a way that shows love and compassion. Grace is attractive to me because I know how much I need it. Yet who can receive grace and then refuse to give it to others?

This grace...it's quite the scandalous thing. Maybe that's why it works so well. After all, nothing ordinary ever changed the world.

Simple Joys (stolen from Lindsey Sellers' blog)

2006-08-04T06:24:00.000-07:00

It's been a slow couple of days in the mountains. The rain has been falling, the electricity keeps going off, and I've been trying to organize my life after being gone so long. Organization is one of my least favorite pastimes, but unfortunately it's a big part of being an adult so every now and then I have to do it. I've been feeling rather mundane lately--working on my finances, backing up files on my computer, unpacking, etc...so I was inspired by my friend, Lindsey's, blog www.outtakesfromindia.blogspot.com. Lindsey is truly one of the most amazing people in the world--she's full of great surprises. So I'm going to follow her example and list some of my simple joys...
(in no particular order)
roadtrips
24
my family's crazy sense of humor
gravel roads
my aunt's iced tea--it's like summer in a glass
sports movies
Section 169, Row 16 in Busch Stadium (which is sadly no longer there)
the driving range
BBQ with the Reagan clan
shooting free throws
Nike Shox
Taco Bell
the great music of Ryan Adams
high school memories--man, my friends were hilarious. I should blog about them sometime.
fishing and camping
driving barefoot
journaling
staying up late
long conversations with my friends--quality time is my love language
Rick Reilly articles
the playoffs--any playoffs
chocolate
Trivial Pursuit
reading classic literature
Indian jewelry
shahi paneer
museums
e-mail--this might be my second love language.
playing doubles with my friend, Charity
fall in Missouri
chess
black or brown nail polish
college memories--my college friends are the best!
summer vacation
documentaries
yak cheese--this is a new joy in my life and oh so good.
all fruit smoothies
Bricktown in Oklahoma City
walking in the rain
the Reagan family easter egg hunt--I used to dominate but now everyone else has a chance
thrift store shopping
t-shirts and hoodies
itunes
Christmas Eve
music videos
random cards and myspace messages from my brother, John
Pac Sun
candles
packages in the mail
reconciliation
bookstores
dogs
Oklahoma sunsets
flag football
last second game winning shots
Gatorade
mixed cd's--preferrably retro music from my high school and college days
exploring cities
getting the latest DC news from my cousin, Linda (who is about to begin her master's at Georgetown...Hoya Saxa!)
poetry--thanks to Suzanne and Dan
the Fab Five--as in Abby, Suzanne, Melissa, Megan, and I--not the Michigan freshmen
hitting people with water balloons
Capture the Flag and Manhunt in the woods
running through sprinklers
pushing people into swimming pools with their clothes on
Quik Trip
snow-capped mountains
Indian children (except the ones that grab on to me and scream 'money' in my ear)
to be continued...
I could go on, but I already feel better after listing all these things that bring a smile to my face. I don't exactly have access to all of them right now but at least I have my yak cheese and shahi paneer! Oh...and of course Ryan Adams, who happens to be singing to me at this very moment...

Vietnam

2006-07-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

Here is a pictoral story of my recent trip to Vietnam

Women wearing pointed hats and selling large loaves of bread--a product of French influence
Nightly flag ceremony in Hanoi
E and I with two Vietnamese women outside the Ho Chi Minh mausoleum
I don't really know what this says but it's in the square in downtown Hanoi
Mandi and I holding our plane tickets to Hoi An
Me with some random Vietnamese girl
Socialist flag of Vietnam
Our boat crashed into another boat and broke a window...here I am holding some debris
Eating squid--it looks scary but it was actually awesomely good!
Mandi and I at the front of the boat spreading our wings...
Ha Lang Bay
Alisha and I wearing pearls on the beach. I think I look a little Vietnamese in this picture because it was a bright day and I couldn't open my eyes all the way
Vietnam boy on a fruit boat
Lele on the beach
Alisha and I on a motorbike. I learned how to drive a bike for the first time. It was going pretty well, but then I got a little agressive on a turn and crashed into a sand embankment. I bruised my leg and injured one of my toes. I'm always messing up my toes--in fact one of them doesn't even bend any more ( from a totally unrelated injury). Still, it was a fun experience.
Don't worry--I haven't started drinking Heineken. I only borrowed this from the hotel fridge to numb my toe before removing part of the toenail.
What do you do after a fall? Get back on the bike.
Taking pictures...
Alisha, me, and Mandi at an outdoor restaurant in Hoi An

The lovely beach. I live in some beautiful mountains but I must admit that I still prefer the ocean. Overall, it was a great trip. Vietnam is a relatively relaxed place, but is still covered with haunting reminders of a war torn past. Beaches and caves that once served as escape havens for American soliders, Viet Cong hats on every corner, not to mention some good 'ole protest music playing in certain places (ie Jefferson Airplane and The Mamas and the Papas). Seeing a new place is always a somewhat growing and healing experience for me. My world gets a little bit bigger, my faith is restored in things I'd grown cynical about, and life suddenly encompasses so much more than just me and my own existence. It's isn't so much that life makes more sense--in fact, I usually just end up asking more questions. Still, I read the news regularly and it always depresses me, but actually experiencing a different country gives me a little hope that life isn't all bad all the time.

However, I'm finding that one doesn't have to go far for inspiration. There are many people from my home (Missouri and Oklahoma) who never cease to amaze me. One, in particular, reads my blog and writes me on a regular basis. Her son is serving overseas and she doesn't know where he is. Her mom is undergoing chemotherapy. She is working a full time job--and yet her attitude is incredible. She is always encouraging me and reminding me to focus on the bigger picture. So, Bronda, you're amazing and thank you for everything.

So the summary of this blog is this: explore the world but appreciate those around you. OH--and definitely try to make it to Vietnam once in your lifetime!

Back in India

2006-07-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

Finally back in India...well, I've actually been back for a few days but haven't had time to do much. Emily and I are taking an intensive Hindi course in Delhi for a couple weeks and I'm loving it. School is fun. I've always thought that. Anyway, I'll fill you in a little on the past two weeks. Pictured below is my friend, Stephanie, and I. Steph is an amazing half-Korean, William and Mary grad who sings like Tori Amos, and we were reunited for the first time in eight months in Thailand. I absolutely loved getting to hang out with her and my other friends. We were quite busy, but Steph and I got a little down time in our room--she played guitar and we sang Counting Crows and Coldplay classics. The best, however, was our own rendition of Zombie by the Cranberries. That is quite possibly the most fun song to belt out in the world. Give it a try. Trust me, it will make your day a little better.

What else? I got to spend the 4th of July playing my most favorite sport ever, basketball. I also went to Starbucks twice a day and learned to play spades. Stupid card games...I finally gave in. Pictured above is the majority of my team on a boat in Thailand. The guys are not in the picture, but there aren't many of them anyway. After Thailand I went to Vietnam, but I will post pictures and write about that later to avoid making this the longest blog in history.

Thanks to my temporary high speed internet access I've been able to read the news at a much faster rate--so I've been following the situation in Beirut pretty closely. The day before I left Vietnam, Mumbai train stations were attacked and then it was quickly followed by the escalating Hezbollah/Israeli crisis. One reporter, who recently returned from Mumbai, was greatly impacted by the suffering she witnessed in India. The questions she asked really made me think, the main one being, 'Why are our headlines so obsessed with terrorism and acts of violence and so disinterested with the everyday starvation, disease, and poverty?' She has a point to this. 33,000 people in South Asia will die today and most of them will die for reasons other than terrorism.

I asked my friend, Maggie, what she thought about this. Maggie used to work with a child prostitution prevention organization in Thailand. We both agreed that terrorism is what sells news (and it definitely needs to be reported and focused on)--we are strangely drawn to what we fear and can't really comprehend what starvation and poverty on a global scale is like. In light of suffering Maggie wrote, 'In the end, my struggle is really over the simple question, "Why not me?" Why, if suffering is universal, do I not suffer? Why does one's plight in life, one's chance at survival and salvation, seem to be merely the result of a toss of the dice.' I've asked myself this question often--but maybe we would understand more if we stopped comparing our suffering among each other and compared it to what we were meant to be and what we were meant to have. Neil Cavuto actually enlightened me, which is a little odd since I never really watched his show. Still, his headline caught my eye so I read the article. It was a story within a story, first highlighting the pain in the Middle East, and then a personal story of losing a close friend to cancer. He said he felt his pain was small compared to what else was happening in the world, but it hurt all the same. Something about this touched me. I have a feeling Maggie and I will be asking ourselves questions about suffering for a long time because our lives have been fairly easy compared to the people we've lived among. Still, we know what it feels like to lose someone and to be far away when these things happen. 33,000 people will die in South Asia today and most of them will die quietly, but somebody will hurt for them. I guess my point is that suffering is universal, although varying in degree among us, and its presence creates an undeniable need for some kind of redemption for each person. This may not make sense to you, but it makes a lot of sense to me--I probably just can't put it into words well enough.

Well, I've written far more than I intended. I blame Neil Cavuto. Vietnam pictures coming soon!

For Emily

2006-06-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

So my roommate Emily is a funny person. She makes me laugh. I'm definitely the weird one in our house, but every now and then Emily will say the craziest things. Here are some examples:

Example 1: We're eating breakfast and Emily is reading the book of Judges. All of a sudden she looks up and says, 'You know, Julie, I'm sure glad no one shoved a tent peg through my head last night.' I almost spit out my orange juice....oh, this may not be funny to you if you've never read Judges.

Example 2: We're both sitting in Emily's room on her computer. Then she asks me in a serious voice, 'Do you know how to go back in time?' I didn't know what to say so I just stared at her. I do that a lot--just stare. I have a lot of random info in my brain but time travel is not part of it. Later, I realized Emily was asking if I knew how to go back in time and get our bank statements online...

Example 3: Tonight I was reading mlb.com mainly to read about the only team that matters, the Cardinals, but I couldn't help but comment on a certain NL East team--so I told Emily, 'Man, Atlanta is terrible.' Her response was, 'Atlanta! Atlanta is my team--they're the Braves right?' Once again, all I could do is stare.

I am thankful for a roommate who makes me laugh and also makes me speechless (which is hard to do). It definitely makes life interesting. I'd post a picture of Emily and I, but it would take too long and I'm too tired. I leave the country tomorrow...

More villages

2006-06-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

What can I say about this picture? Emily and I are weird. We live in the mountains all alone. Plus, we really love our sleeping bags.

We ventured out to another village. This one was ten hours from where we live so it was a long bus ride--made longer by the narrow, crowded roads. We sat in traffic for awhile (thanks to tourist season), but we were also delayed because our driver decided to get out and punch the driver of another vehicle coming the opposite direction. Then a car hit our bus so we stopped for another period of time--what can you do? These things just happen. The village was great. We stayed with a wonderful family and got to do a little hiking. They didn't speak any English so Emily and I also got to practice our Hindi quite a bit. It felt so much like camping to me--like being back in the good old Ozarks, God's country.

A view of the village
All us girls wearing the local 'gypsy style' dewrags
Catie and I on the porch of a local home
Local man
Our whole group in an off-centered photo

I just started reading a massive book, The Brothers Karamazov, which was a favorite of some people in college. Emily makes fun of me for being such a nerd, but hey, she was in band her entire life almost so I think we're even (j/k--I think band is really cool). Anyway, the following is what I read today...
'They are the rungs of the same ladder. I'm on the very lowest rung, and you're somewhere up at the top, on the thirteenth. That's the way I see this matter, but it's all the same thing, it's absolutely one and the same story. Once a person has stepped on to the lowest rung he has absolutely no option but to climb up to the highest one.'
I love this. Alyosha is talking with his brother, Dimitry, who believes he is far less moral. Alyosha's response is basically that it makes no difference. What does it matter if one person has done a million bad things and another person has only done one? It only takes one time to make someone imperfect and after that they will continue to make mistakes--it kind of kills the whole philosophy of the enlightment but I love it. I love it because it puts us all on the same page and I love it because I believe it's true. We can strive to be loving and good and beneficial to society (and we should), but the good and the bad alike are still unholy.

'God loves us too much to give up on us as easily as we give up on Him'-- an e-mail from my friend, Charity, who is teaching in inner city Chicago this summer.
I love this too. I love it because it reminds me that we don't have to create our own value. We already have it despite our imperfection. Grace is always there. Even when it's ignored. Even when it's abused. Even when it's doubted or misunderstood. Grace is still there and desperately needed by all, the people on the first rung, the thirteenth rung, the ten thousandth rung... It's there because it comes from beyond us, a source of perfect consistency and love, thank God, and I love that.

Mountains, music, and the working women

2006-06-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

Another day in the mountains...

The beautiful Himalayas

Kate and I on top of the mountain

I have decided that I want to become more musical. Emily is trying to teach me how to play the flute. Here we are performing my favorite Christmas carol, We Three Kings, for Kate and Catie. I realize it is June, but this song is good enough to sing all year long.

I'm playing a B flat for Catie. It was like the Sirens--so beautiful she had to cover her ears.

Catie's turn! I have to say she's not quite as good as me yet.

Working Women

Tonight I met a shopkeeper named Anu, who lives in a nearby village. She speaks very little English, but we talked for awhile--as much as we could. I'm always fascinated by working women in this country, mainly because it's a traditional country where many women stay at home and men dominate places of commerce. Anyway, I was reading the ILO's 2004 report on the global employment trends for women and it appears that labor force participation for women has increased steadily over the past ten years. LFP measures how many people of working age are actively seeking employment (the employed and unemployed combined). While unemployment is still slightly higher for women (overall globally), the report says it's a mistake to assume that the increase of women in the workforce has necessarily led to an adequate sense of empowerment. Many women are underemployed--not making enough to bring them and their families above the poverty line. In fact, women make up 60% of the world's working poor. The ILO suggests three indicators for this.

#1 Status--this is an issue that was always hotly debated amongst my friends in college. Women face the issue of reconciling family responsibilites with work responsibilites to a far greater degree than men. Whenever there is a family or economic crisis women are usually the first expected to give up their salary and wage-earning positions.

#2 Sector--this merely states that jobs continued to be segregated by sex into 'men' jobs and 'women' jobs. Naturally, the 'men' jobs are in the higher paying sectors. While both men and women can technically cross over into these sectors, there's still that glass ceiling to make it difficult and discouraging.

#3 Wages--women everywhere still tend to earn less than men for doing the same type of jobs. The last time I checked it was about .75-.80/$1 in the US.

There is mounting evidence that women's ability to fully enjoy human rights--even to demand such rights--is integrally linked to their economic development. Whether women work out of need or choice, the focus should be on giving them decent jobs, so that in the long run they can work themselves and their families out of poverty--from the report.

So does the world need more working women like Anu? This afternoon I read a story about Jennifer Mwesigye in Uganda--she and her husband were struggling to get by and support their family. This woman received a $171 loan from Opportunity International, bought a sewing machine, and started a business in her own home. As profits increased, she hired employees, and began to start other businesses--including farms and a taxi service. She was elected to the town council and began to develop ways to make it easier for women to enter the business world. Now she and her husband support their seven children plus four AIDS orphans. They also provide income for their employees, supporting 57 people total. Does the world need more working women in microenterprise? Call me untraditional but I would have to say yes.

Perspectives

2006-06-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

Since feeling is first who pays attention to the syntax of things

Our team did a little bit of traveling this weekend. We spent a great deal of time on local buses driving through the mountain roads--it can take hours to travel a few kilometers up here--just to explore some remote towns and villages. I learn a great deal from each day I spend in this somewhat mystical place, but lately I've been thinking a lot about the different perspectives I encounter not only in South Asia, but from people all over the world--and how no perspective is really objective, but I don't think objectivity should be the goal. I think the willingness to put our feelings aside and look at the world through another's eyes for just a short time is an amazing thing. This is not a denial of self or abandonment of beliefs, just a desire to understand.

'Foreigners don't understand our religion. They come here and make fun of our gods--about how they have so many hands or have snakes around their necks.'

'India is a dirty and corrupt place. Why would anyone want to live here?' (Catie and I in front of a pile of manure for effect).

'You should see the way tourists dress. They show so much skin. Now our girls want to dress like the Western girls.' (Here we are in a salwar-kameez just to prove not all Westerners show too much skin!)

Other Perspectives

Online chat with my friend, Ghadeer, who is a Palestinian living in Amman, Jordan. I told her how I wanted to visit Israel someday and she replied, 'Julie, I can't bear to even hear you call it Israel. I can't bear to think of what those people are doing to my country.' I certainly don't want to side against Israel, but take a drive outside of Amman and sure enough, there are tents of Palestian refugees everywhere--many innocent people in exile.

Conversation with an Israeli backpacker who I also told I wanted to visit Israel. 'You must go. It's such a beautiful country and very small. You could trek the whole thing.'

Mrs. Solanki, high caste Hindu. 'American collects all the brains of the world, but it collects all the devils too.'

I recently watched Crash and didn't think it was that great, but it really struck me how so many of the problems came as a result of language barriers or failure to communicate in a culturally appropriate way. The worst example I've seen of this was in NYC last year on New Year's Eve. One million people on Times Square pushing and shoving. I was holding on to a lightpole to save myself from the stampede and witnessed a fight between a white couple and a Hispanic man. He was trying to speak to them, but they couldn't understand his accent. They started to yell at him to learn English or go back to his own country. What followed was the worst exchange of profanity and racial slurs I've ever heard. I put the whole thing in the back of my mind, but it keeps resurfacing now that I live in India. Not once has someone got in my face and yelled at me to learn Hindi or go back to America. In fact, their faces light up when I say the simplest phrases, no matter how bad my accent is.

I felt a little heavy last week and this weekend thinking about how little we all know about each other and the world as a whole. 'What exactly is the Maldives?' 'Who was Al-Zarqawi?' 'All Americans are rich right?' 'Indonesia is the largest Muslim country? I didn't even know it was Muslim.' 'I can't believe those homosexuals want so many rights. Aren't they concerned about AIDS?' 'Who is killing who in Darfur?' We live in fractured societies and I'm not in favor of extreme tolerance--no absolutes result in a very unfulfilling and lost world. Nor am I in favor of tolerating extremist behavior. But understanding and knowledge are essential for remembering where the real fight is and it's rarely with each other. We could be wrong about so many things, but how will we know if we never listen to a different point of view? We could be right about so many things, but how can we tell them if they don't respect us?

*EDIT (for my cousin, Linda): By extreme tolerance, I mean allowing harmful behavior to continue just because it's easier to ignore it than to do something about it. Love is bigger than tolerance and should always be present without measure. I hope that makes more sense, Linda. As you know, I've had to learn some of these things the hard way.

Random Post

2006-06-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

This is my friend, Matt, and I in Delhi. We both went to college together on the reservation in Oklahoma. Now he lives in California. Time with Matt is always time well spent. He has a lot of great insight although he will play Aerosmith and sing real loud if you ride in the car with him. Also, he'll go on and on about how the Mets are America's team. And if you ever come close to beating him in golf he'll rip up the scorecard, throw his golf club, and not talk to you. Other than that he's nothing but a joy to be around.

Linds and I with our hair plastered to our heads thanks to the Delhi heat. It was miserable!

Awhile back my city was considering building a large ski resort (I live in a tourist area), but for some reason the project was not approved by the gods. Emily and I were talking with another westerner who lives here about development in the Himalayas in general. His comment was that it was best for things to remain simple--but I couldn't help but disagree with this, not because simple is bad but because it's hard to define what simple really is. It's relative. So many things we think of as simple were actually considered complex a short time ago, where do you draw the line? I'm not saying I think a ski resort is the best idea, but this place thrives off of tourism and it would be nice to attract a market segment other than marijuana lovers. Beyond that, what right do we as foreigners have anyway declaring that India should be kept 'simple.'

As for other news, I just found out my tailor, Mr. Gulati, is going to be on the Discovery channel several months from now. He is a 70 year old man from Western Pakistan and his shop has been open since 1960. Keep a look out for him.

Things that make me happy: Peanut butter--Kate and Catie brought us some from America and I've been eating it plain with a spoon just like in college. The Penelopiad--modern retelling of The Odyssey from Penelope's point of view. It always made me mad that Penelope was so faithful while Odysseus ran around with Circe and Calypso. I like this version better. Supermassive Black Hole--new single from Muse, one of my favorite bands. The Miami Heat--actually, I don't care about the Heat but Jason Williams was my favorite NBA player in high school and I used to record his games so I'm glad he's in the finals. Credit cards--I just got new ones after mine were stolen two months ago. India--I just like being here.

I miss comments from my friend, Sam, who is the only reason I allowed comments in the first place. We have only three interests in common: books, Sifl and Olly, and Taco Bell. Sifl and Olly has been off the air for some time, however, so maybe we only have two things in common. Anyway, Sam doesn't agree with anything I say but she still likes me and I wish she'd communicate with me via blog world again!

Delhi and Agra

2006-06-03T06:34:00.000-07:00

I just got back from picking up our summer volunteers in Agra. In the process I got to see a lot of great people, including two of my college friends, Matt and Brandon. Matt and I were actually able to spend an afternoon running around Delhi--we've been friends for five years so it was fun to reminisce and talk about things like baseball, US immigration issues, and other stuff that seems half a world away to me these days. Brandon brought me some of my favorite things from home: orange Tic Tacs, Polar Ice gum, and Taco Bell Fire sauce. It makes me so happy to see OBU alumni in South Asia experiencing the country I love.

I came down with what was diagnosed as a 'respiratory infection.' After refusing to go to the doctor for four days I finally decided to go in Agra. My friends, Megan and Lindsey, came with me. We walked into the overcrowded waiting room and were told that it would be five minutes, but I had my doubts considering the receptionist was examining a woman at the front desk. However, the white girl trump card won out and we were ushered into the doctor's office ahead of everyone else. My guilt was assauged by the fact we were way overcharged by the doctor, who told us that the Indians paid less because they had insurance. I'm not an expert on Indian healthcare but I just had a hard time believing everyone in the waiting room was insured. Dang it, why do Indians always lie to me? Anyway, the doctor listened to my lungs for about five seconds, gave me five brown bags with seven pills to take each day, and told me to avoid cold drinks (because that is the cause of all illnesses believe it or not). Four days later I am still congested and am not quite sure what I've been putting into my body.

Lindsey, Ashley, me, and Karen at our South Asia party

Brandon and I. I'll post a picture of Matt as soon as Lindsey e-mails it to me

Emily and I with our awesome volunteers, Catie and Kate

Cognitive Dissonance: "Cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon which refers to the discomfort felt at a discrepancy between what you already know or believe, and new information or interpretation." I used to believe that my indecisive and non-confrontational nature was due to being laid-back and a desire for peace and harmony. Now I'm starting to believe I'm the victim of cognitive dissonance. I'm not good at the finality of major decisions because something always happens later on that makes me question it. Questions are good, but they're starting to drive me crazy. Closure makes me nervous. Vulnerability is a whole different story. At the age of 23 I'm certain of so few things--yet I still have to make decisions. So now I'm wondering, is cognitive dissonance just a part of life or can you overcome it? More than that, who actually thinks about this stuff besides me...

Birthdays and Weddings

2006-05-21T03:20:00.000-07:00

I just turned 23--a day that I interpreted as 'seven more years until I'm thirty.' My birthday sort of crept up on me since we've been busy with planning and I just started language lessons again. Emily and I planned on spending the weekend in villages--BUT, I woke up Friday morning with the flu, which has kept me in the house for three days. The above picture was actually taken the day before my birthday with my new friend and teacher, Dixika. Since then my appearance has become somewhat frightening--really pale, walking around wrapped in a blanket (like Wednesday Addams in a Jedi outfit). Fortunately, things are starting to look up and I think I'll still be able to make my LONG trip to Delhi tomorrow.

The worst thing about being sick is that it brings out the self-centeredness in me. For some reason, I think that everything will fall apart if my plans fall through or if I can't be there. The best thing about being sick is that I instantly become aware of this attitude and it shifts my persepctive a little bit. It's quite possible that great things can be achieved in my absence. Maybe I would've just been in the way. I stayed home and tried to get better--watched some of the DVD's my family sent me, including Walk the Line (I love Johnny Cash), tried to catch up on the news and Cardinals baseball, read a book about innovative faith (also from my family) that calls doctrine 'a wonderful servant and a horrible master', and became aware of how much I actually needed a break--a break from planning, running around, trying to speak in different languages, meeting people, being introspective, etc. So now I'm asking myself, how many times will I have to learn this lesson the hard way? How many times will I have to be knocked off my feet before I realize that I'm spreading myself too thin? We get rest sooner or later. There's no point in fighting it.

The two pictures above are of my friend, Jessica. One is our last picture together and the other is an engagement picture with her fiance, Travis. Jessica and I have been friends since birth. People used to think we were sisters, especially when our strong personalities caused us to butt heads. We got really into politics in high school and would always go listen to speakers or participate in different social issues campaigns. One time we were on our way to hear Elizabeth Dole speak and met John Ashcroft standing outside the door. Jessica was so nervous she walked into the door. We stayed up all night on the edge of our seats watching the 2000 election together (I may not be quite as zealous about politics as I once was but I still LOVE election night)! Anyway, since I've been overseas Jessica has been so faithful in writing me that I wanted to say something nice about her on my blog. She's such an incredible person and we've stumbled through many of life's hard lessons together, quenching certain passions and igniting others. She's getting married to an amazing guy on Friday. Travis was a senior when she was a freshman in high school and I remember telling her to be realistic, he was too old for her and high school relationships never last. Well, seven and a half years later they are getting married (and yes, they've been dating that long). So beyond the fact that I should not give relationship advice, Jessica and Travis have taught me a lot about endurance, patience, and commitment. Jess, I love you and am celebrating for you here in India.

Dhungri Mela and the American Dream

2006-05-16T02:49:00.000-07:00

'Mela' means festival and we've had so many lately! Last night Emily and I went to Dhungri Mela, which celebrates the goddess, Hadimba's, birthday. Crowds gather at the Hadimba Temple to worship and then head over to the fair--which is really a bunch of shops and games. Our landlord's ten year old son, Anish, was our host. I'm not sure how much fun he had with two girls, but we enjoyed hanging out with him!

This is an altar where worshippers place a cloth called a chader. A man stands guard over all the chaders during the festivities

Woman kneeling before the altar

Anish playing a carnival game

I, of course, could not pass up the opportunity to shoot a gun

Anish and I at the fair

What exactly is the American Dream?
I've been thinking about this question since getting an e-mail from my friend, Matt Neal, who is entering law school this fall. Matt is one of the most humble and genuine people I've ever had the privilege to know--and he shared with me some of his concerns about being in an atmosphere so consumed with wealth and power. I read his words carefully and wondered, 'Is this the American Dream? Is that it? To have as much money and power possible?'

My genius ivy league friend, Suzanne, told me that the original American Dream was to pursue a career that would take care of one's family and make their community a better place. Yet today the phrase seems to carry a much more superficial connotation. A guy I went to college with asked me my major once. I told him I was studying business and he replied, 'Oh, so you want to make money.' I had to think about that. It was never my goal to not make money, but that wasn't the driving force in my life. I was interested in economics, international development, and people having jobs--and somehow people seemed to interpret that to mean I wanted to be the next Ken Lay or build mini malls on top of rare ant species.

I'm not a major right-winger--I don't even believe it's possible for everyone to achieve the American Dream. Life experience and books like Maggie: Girl of the Streets makes that obvious. I'm just not in favor of attacking corporate America, especially when these are the people everyone goes to for donations and charitable contributions. It kind of seems like a double standard to me and it doesn't help anything. It's easy to sit back and attack something. It's a lot more difficult, however, to actually 'be the change you want to see in the world' (as a famous Indian once said). It's my hope that more integris people like Matt Neal will enter the corporate/political/legal fields instead of avoid them, and through them the world will come to know a dream much bigger than the American Dream.

I could write a lot more, but I don't want to make this too personal since I don't really know who reads my blog! However, it can be a little boring to constantly post pictures and say 'This is what I did in India today...', so I wanted to mix it up a bit and share some of the 'moderate' thoughts that have been going through my head.

Mother's Day and more

2006-05-14T11:51:00.000-07:00

Today is Mother's Day, and I miss my mom. She's vacationing in Hawaii right now so I'm sure she's having a great day--but I thought she might appreciate a special shout out on my blog. That's much better than an e-card, don't you think? Here's what I miss: My mom sighing loudly and saying 'That's terrible' over and over again when my dad, brother, and I are watching our stupid humor movies. All the sappy soft rock cds my mom plays while she cleans the house. The special chicken Chablis she makes for me when I come home. How she always wants to buy me nice clothes and wishes I would dress up more. Listening to the same stories over and over again and pretending I've never heard them before. The way she preserves the past--pictures, newspaper articles, cards. Her generosity--time, money, service--no price is too high. I could go on and on...basically, my mom rocks and I'm glad she gets to spend Mother's Day eating pineapple on the beach!

India report for the week: We have some big festivals going on so I may get some pictures up later. I will begin learning my second Indian language this week. Today we ate lunch with a local family and they have a dog named Julie. Who names their pet Julie? A group from Spain came to speak in church. One guy spoke Spanish, a woman translated it into English, and another guy translated the English into Hindi. Tri-translations. It was awesome--like a multilingual telephone game. No telling what the Hindi crowd actually heard. We also went to a wedding reception--did we know the bride and groom? No. Does that really matter in India? No.

An American Tragedy: I've never really watched American Idol. I saw the very first episode because my friend knew this guy who was on there for about ten seconds. He recorded it and made me watch it over and over again and I thought, 'This is dumb. I'm not going to watch this show.' So I didn't--but moving to India changes a person. Emily and I really got into this season of American Idol. Well, we actually only watched it about three times because we don't have a TV, but we still kept up. I was a huge fan of Chris--great style, amazing voice, sang my kind of music. I was even thinking about how I would buy his cd...and then I read the terrible news that he got VOTED OFF! I was so mad--why did I go against my better judgment and give this show a chance? None of the other contestants are half as good as him. The whole thing has been a temporary cure for my 'America homesickness.'

Really, so much is going on these days--a lot of deep issues to think about and deal with over here. Still, I try to keep things lighthearted and avoid talking about my political/spiritual/theological/socio-economic views. I want this blog to be fair and balanced like the Fox News network. Come on, Sam...don't you want to comment on that? I said it just for you.

The End of the Habitable World

2006-05-09T03:26:00.000-07:00

I recently found out that the district I live in was once referred to as the 'end of the habitable world.' Some days I look around me and wonder just how I really ended up here, of all the places in the world--why this place? We trekked into some unchartered territory yesterday, and a girl named Tara invited us to her home. She spoke very little English so it was a great opportunity to use our Hindi. Her home was quite the hike up the mountain, but we were greeted by her smiling family once we arrived. Even with the culture and language barriers, there was something surprisingly familiar about sitting on the porch drinking chai with rain softly falling around us--as if we aren't all so different after all.

Stinging Nettles

Ok, so I'd never even heard of the plant pictured below, but it apparently grows in North America, as well as northern Europe, Asia, and some other places. Anyway, I accidentally grabbed some stinging nettles while I was trekking and my hand and arm instantly felt like they were on fire (kind of like a jellyfish sting). I had no clue what happened, but one of my friends informed me that I was, indeed, the victim of this vicious plan I didn't know existed. She also told me there was some kind of leaf that took away the sting but couldn't remember what it was. By this time my hand and arm were swelling pretty badly so we kept grabbing different leaves and rubbing them on my skin. Nothing worked so I had to endure the sting for the rest of the night--it eventually got better, but it was NOT fun (although somewhat humorous for everyone else to watch I think). OH, and we found out later the remedy plant is the dandelion leaf. Sure didn't see any of those around.

This picture is totally unrelated to anything in this post, but it cracks me up because Emily looks like a nun. She's going to hate me for putting it on here--still, isn't it funny?

Tonight I was walking home from a weekly group meeting we attend and I met a really cool family. One of the girls is my age and speaks a little English. We connected instantly and she invited me into their home. She speaks Hindi and the local language and agreed to teach me. I'm so excited because I've really missed Nidhi since I moved. This family just made me feel so welcome and I'm looking forward to building new relationships. They even sent me home with a bag of barfy, my favorite Indian dessert. I know it sounds gross but it's actually really good. I love the way I meet people here. One minute I'm walking alone and the next I'm sitting in someone's home drinking chai and looking at their wedding albums. It's amazing--no matter how difficult life in India can be at times, I am so blessed to live here.

Abby in Africa

2006-05-04T03:42:00.000-07:00

I just found out my dear friend, Abby, is moving to Africa, adding to the list of friends I have living on that continient-I-still-haven't-been-to. My last e-mail from her said 'i'm okay with setting myself up for an upset if this is what it means to really passionately desire something.' This is Abby--so reckless with her emotions, so willing to give herself freely. Since I've known her she's spent her time pouring into OBU students, residents of Shawnee, people in Taiwan, the inner cities of Houston and San Francisco, and international students in Hawaii. Now Africa is the next lucky stop on the Abby love train.

Abs and I used to find ourselves in all kinds of trouble in college. I would go back to my apartment after a long day with good intentions to do my homework and study....BUT, I would usually find myself finger painting, going out to Shawnee Lake, playing tennis, or running off to OKC with Abby. It was even worse when we'd take road trips together. Our favorite destination was Chicago, but we were always getting lost or making the hotel staff mad because we rearranged the furniture in our room. One time we even had to call the maintenance staff to come take apart our fridge because we got our Chicago style pizza box stuck inside.

I can't really explain Abby or our friendship. All I can say is that life away from your closest friends is always a little bittersweet. I'm so happy to see Abby doing all the things she's doing, but I sure miss her a lot--looks like I may have to schedule a trip to Africa somewhere in my near future.

Abby adorned in plastic, getting ready to run in the rain

Abby's scary facial mask

Graduation day almost one year ago

As for life in India....all is well here. I put together a nice little paper on the people up here, which was a lot of fun. I love research and writing even though it kind of makes me a nerd--But, heck, I'd rather write a paper than take a test any day. Also, I'm continuing my trend of meeting awesomely weird people. Here's how a conversation went with me and a guy in a local bookstore.

Me: Where are you from?
Him: I’m a Nowhereian
Me: (thinking…Is that someone from Norway? Aren’t they Norwegians?)
Me: (realizing he meant he’s from ‘nowhere’) Oh, nice. How long have you been here?
Him: Three years. I came to meet my lama, but he died so I had to wait for him to be reincarnated.
Me: Oh
Him: Yeah, he finally was.
Me: How did you know it was him?
Him: That’s a good question. I could just feel it, I guess.
Me: Does he wear the red caps or the yellow caps?
Him: Yellow. He lives in Bhutan now so I can’t see him.
Me: I’ve been to Bhutan. Well, actually, just across the border. The people are nice.
Him: Yeah, I’ve never been there. It’s hard to get in.
Me: I’m sorry.

You know, I felt kind of bad for this man from nowhere who has been wandering around India for three years unable to see his reincarnated lama. He must feel so lost. Really, it's a rare day when I don't encounter someone here with the ability to make me laugh and break my heart at the same time.

Beautiful Children and Beautiful Mountains

2006-04-25T05:21:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been really enjoyable. We got to spend some time at a children's home outside our city. Most of these children are from Ladakh, a district of the state above ours. I have a huge weakness for kids--kids and dogs. Something happens to me, my voice changes, and I just have to play with them and hug them. All over the world children face the intense suffering of war, hunger, poverty, abandonment, disease, death--and many other things that are not their fault. Not every children's home is a wonderful place, but the home near us is well-supported and has a staff of workers who genuinely love these kids. It's pretty amazing to see all the work that goes into a place like this. It's a lot of work to raise one child and they have over fifty--but they still call themselves one family and I think that's pretty cool.

Look at these kids. Don't you want to HUG them?

Topha and I

Today Em and I ventured over to the old side of town to explore some other villages. We're quite lucky because most of India is sweltering right now--yet, it's still fairly cool where we live. That makes our job a lot more pleasant! If this place were in America it would be turned into a hundred different national parks. Fortunately, we can roam and trek almost anywhere and enjoy the natural, unspoiled beauty and see how the people live.

This lady is a gardner. She was a little camera shy and closed her eyes but she was so sweet.

Emily at the garden cafe. She deserved mad props for putting up with my weirdness.

Here I am trying to drink like an Indian.

In order to get to all the villages, mountains, and waterfalls, we have to trek through fields of marijuana. The cannabis plant is everywhere up here.

We found this tiny temple at the top of the mountain. I wanted to open the door but I was afraid--I was thinking about what happened in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I decided to be brave. Inside the temple was a bunch of items used in typical pujas.

Here is the ever revered cow grazing in the hills.